Wednesday, February 1, 2023
Afternoon nap.
I was outside the Carnegie Centre. I had a bicycle. Then someone on my right wrapped his arms around my waist and ran with his feet. He was facing the other way. Me in the bicycle went backwards. Yet the bicycle I was on didn't fall over. I was laughing while this happened. Then I balanced staying absolutely still on the bicycle. That person grabbed my waist again and ran making me go backwards.
Thursday, February 2, 2023
Daytime. I was at the where Jackson Coop Housing between Union Street and Gore Avenue and Jackson Avenue and Keefer Street in Vancouver. Where the Co op housing buildings would have been there was nothing except a few wide streams and some tall grass and bushes. All this was surrounded by a chain link fence. In the streams I saw large alligators. I said to a city worker on the corner of Union Street and Gore Avenue that the grass should be mowed and the bushes should be cut down otherwise the alligators from the stream could be hiding there.
Afternoon nap.
I was on the East side of Renfrew Street between 6th and 7th Avenue in Vancouver. I was headed South. I saw some trees and grabbed the branch and swung like Tarzan on a vine. With the first two trees I fell on the sidewalk laughing. Some cars passed. I didn't see who was in the cars but I sensed they were seeing my laughing face as I was on the ground. With the rest of the trees, I was able to successfully grab the branch of one tree after another as I swung through the trees like Tarzan swinging through vines.
The theme of this dream is mastery. In this case mastery of fear and anxiety. The first two trees I grabbed the branch and fell down. This means the first few days I wasn't able to go through a day without fear and anxiety. The next few trees, I grabbed the branches of a few trees in a row and was able to swing like Tarzan swinging on vines successfully. For the last few days I went through days without any fear and anxiety at all.
Fear and anxiety have physical symptoms. One can feel their amygdala lighting up along with that burning feeling in the stomach aka butterflies in the stomach.
I still have worry and that's just intellectual worry with no physical side effects. I worry that when I go old I'll have a painful decline followed with an inevitable prospect of death which will be super scary as I don't know what's on the other side. What I do know is that in the afterlife I won't be able to have my mp3 player with headphones as I do in life.
Friday, February 3, 2023
I was to go on board a ride. It was in the water. It was the cockpit of a space ship. Once I got on board, R2D2 from Star Wars would be ejected upwards into the sky flying in an arc.
Teleport. I walk down a hallway. There is a door to my left. I walk in. Luke Skywalker was there but indistinct. I get a voice message. "You have to forgive otherwise you will bring that unforgiveness with you in heaven."
Then I am walking West along Keefer at Main in Vancouver. I am with a small group of Chinese people. On the Northeast corner of Keefer and Main St, there is a Chinese restaurant. I say, "This restaurant is legendary as I have had a dream about it." walking North, I get to the Southeast corner of Main and Pender. There is another Chinese restaurant which is legendary. We all walk into this restaurant. The restaurant has a front dining area and a back dining area. Walking into the back dining area, I see a bunch of Chinese soldiers all dressed identically wearing plain green shirts with collar and buttons. One of them is Mao Tse Tung but I could tell that want the real Mao, just an actor pretending to be Mao. We all sit down. It is my family sitting with me at a round table next to the round table Mao and his soldiers were sitting at. My siblings are seated across from me. My father is seated to my left. Then Mao moves his chair and sits to my right.
The conversation. I say to Mao in what very little Mandarin I know, "Wo bu kie gong gwa Yue." meaning, "I don't speak Mandarin." My father is then giving me pointers about my Mandarin speaking. Mao asks what I want to order. I say, "Pu tong mein." meaning ordinary noodles.
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I wonder what my life would have been like had I stayed in Hong Kong or lived in China. I might have thrived rather than just survived. In Hong Kong, I might have gotten married to a Chinese lady and had a family.
In Canada, I barely even met any Chinese ladies.
If you have problems in life it's often not because of who you are or what you did, it's often because of where you are. Things about you that are such an issue here are irrelevant somewhere else. That goes vice versa too.
Chinese people might think that Canada is spontaneous and has a lack of formality but Canadians might think that of China too.
Most Chinese people in China wouldn't think of leaving China. In Canada, a Chinese person is a visible minority. In China, they're one of the majority.
The News says lots of Chinese people want to come to Canada. That's immigration propaganda. Canada is kind of a backwater compared to China and backwaters think that they're the center of the Universe.
On the News yesterday on February 2, 2023, a 17 year old teenage boy was killed. He was found shot in a car. I wonder if I would have been better off had I died at 17. Dying at 17 isn't the worst thing. I think living a whole life on welfare, a whole life living in one rooming house after another, never getting married and even hardly ever getting laid is worse than dying at 17. I wish I had died at 17 seeing how my life turned out.
But getting laid isn't so cut and dried. Getting laid is a sport. I'm not good at getting laid. Performance anxiety, chronic erectile dysfunction and usually failure to "finish" has clouded most of the times I had chances at getting laid and there were more than I can remember. Complaining about not getting laid when one is not good at it is like complaining about not getting a chance to play golf or tennis when you're not good at sports.
Getting laid can lead to a chain of events where the mother dies in childbirth. It is much better not to get laid than to have that happen even once. Just as getting in a car accident when driving a car that leads to the death of one or many people. It's better not to drive a car at all let alone to own a car to have that happen even if it happens once.
Also the chance of being on the hook for child support is another worry with getting laid. For me, getting a woman pregnant and fathering a child would be the most unwanted thing.
Get laid, don't get laid, is just trading one set of worries for another if one is prone to worrying. And I am intensely, even profoundly prone to worrying.
Living in China would mean to take on the written language. Every time you want to learn a new word, you have to learn to draw a new picture and with no clue to how the word sounds. It would be very difficult to learn and to create new words that would be instantly universally acknowledged unlike with the English language where new words are created all the time which are immediately accessible such as Jabberwocky etc and a million other examples. I prefer the English language which is way more facile.
While English speaking people have a personal written vocabulary of thousands of words, a Chinese person might only have a vocabulary of hundreds of words. Which reduces average Chinese conversations to gut level stomach level topics while English speaking people have conversations about sciences, medical science, astronomy, philosophy etc.
The Dunbar number might exist with the Chinese language where one can only remember 150 words at any given time. The rest of the words would have to be slowly jogged out. One can only remember 150 people at any one time or 150 movies at any one time. This is the Dunbar number.
This morning I thought of the movie quote, "What you failed to show him was loving kindness." "I cooked for him, I cleaned for him. If that's not loving kindness then I don't know what is." I used to know the movie that was from. Now I forgot. I think it was a Sherlock Holmes movie. Anyways....
I'm not suicidal in the least. I must Honor life and my life is under the will of God. Yet I can't help from wondering if I would have been better off if I had died at 17 like that guy in Burnaby, not that my life was all that great until 17. I wish I had never been born. Babies cry loudly and I wonder what is going through their mind when they do. I think it's disorientation and also anxiety knowing that life is uncomfortable and stressful and that they'd rather not be here. Life and living is a hassle. One day all people have to face old age and the inevitable deterioration of the body which is painful and then death which is scary because who knows what's on the other side. Religion and psychic mediums claim to know but I only have their word for it. How can I really know.
Religion and psychic mediums is a money making racket. Religion is a control system.
Too bad I couldn't trade places. I would go back in time and die at age 17 and that guy in Burnaby goes on living. My mother died when I was an infant. I would trade places with her in a hot second. She lives while I died as an infant. I would trade places with her if I could. My life never really amounted to much. Meanwhile she was married and she was rich or at least she was middle class rich but not upper class rich. Middle class rich is rich enough and is better than being on welfare one's whole life. I would ask God if he could miraculously do a time machine and have it that I died as an infant and that my mother was to go on living. I would give anything for that. That would be between me and God. God is so powerful he can do anything. This life I lived would then be some weird dream I had as an infant just before I died as an infant. I would then wake up to a reality of seeing my mother go on living while I was in heaven after I died as an infant. The Mandela effect is proof that God sometimes goes back in time and changes things. The Mandela effect is a rwlesult of you having a memory from one timeline meanwhile a time travler went back in time using classified government time traveling technology and changed something. Like the Butterfly Effect movie, "Change one thing, change everything." The Mandela Effect is a spinoff corollary change of one major change that a time traveler went back in time and made.
Saturday, January 4, 2023
I was in Dawson Creek working at a factory that I used to work at. This time there were lots of tasks available but the one task I used to do, bending metal and putting holes in it with a drill wasn't there anymore. I asked others about it. They said that particular task had been removed because it caused burnout. I was gliding on my feet around that factory quickly.
I saw Suzie in that factory. She said she works there in Thursdays. She also said that she was going on vacation for a few days starting tomorrow. I walked around her but was able to put my hand on her ass a few times. She didn't mind. The manager of the factory commented about it. He noticed that I had my hand on Suzie's ass. He wasn't angry. He just noticed it.
A few moments later I realized that she had walked to her car. She didn't tell me about it or else I would have walked with her.
Then walking around the factory floor I noticed a bunch of Atari 2600 video cartridges from the 80s scattered around on the floor. There was an Atari 2600 system in a white box with the Atari 2600 design on it. I saw a handwritten price sticker, black felt pen on white tape, $195. Then my old coworker Tina appeared. She said it was her Atari system and she was trying to sell it. I wasn't interested in an old Atari 2600.
Then I felt my mother was there. She was speaking about me very quickly, "Fearful but brave, indecisive yet determined..." etc Then she said that I was wearing a middle class sash.
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Dreams are crazy. I wake up in a bit of fear thinking my dreams are crazy therefore I must be crazy. And why must I write down my dreams revealing them to the World? This is my chore. This is my Sisyphusian task, like always pushing a large round boulder uphill. I think that if I write the dreams down, when I die. In the afterlife, I will have a life review and visit each and every one of the dreams I wrote down and have a detailed explanation of them. How they all fit together. Most people keep their dreams to themselves. And Google might publish these dreams and sell them. Google suppresses my view count. On a lot of my blog posts, the number of viewers register as 1 or 2, that's it. Major suppression. I don't think I'm fit for living nor suited to life. I often think I'm better off not being here at all. I've written at length about this and about how I would trade my life for my mother's and how I think it'd be better had I died young, years ago. Such thoughts might qualify me for depression and I might get euthanized due to Canada's expanded euthanizarion program. Some people could get euthanized solely for mental illness. This expanded program has been delayed from March 17, 2023 to sometime in 2024. But anything could happen before 2024. A vote of confidence could dissolve Parliament and an election could be called before 2024. Right now the government is a minority coalition government which is not the most stable of governments. The Conservatives could win and being staunch Christians are against euthanization merely on the grounds of mental illness. Anything could happen.
My dreams make me crazy but this tendency to reveal them to the World make me even more crazy.
I generally don't reread the dreams I wrote in the past. Too lazy or else too distracted with other things like YouTube videos, and playing apps and watching movies or going on walks. That's why I feel that my life is out of control and is a mess. God help me as only He can.
Figuratively speaking, no matter how much a floor is cleaned, there will always be a spot that is missed.
About Suzie, Sprouht on YouTube asked a 40 year old for advice she'd give to younger people in their 20s. She said, "Don't waste time. If something feels stupid, don't do it. Use your intuition." I didn't like the energy of visiting Suzie. I'd be at a line up then get to talk to Suzie for a minute or two and then be rushed to leave as people are behind me in the line up nipping at my heels. Suzie often says" See you next week."only to do that over again. Then I walk to her to her car. It's a nice car, BMW M series, then she drives away with her friend leaving me standing at the curb. It's a disempowering experience. But then it's not like I'm legally required to see her. I'm not even morally required to see her. Well, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I hope to never see her again. She is really friendly with me. Too friendly. Love bombing narcissist. Why does she have to get so personal? Why does she have to be so involved? The entire thing is a bad energy jangle. She is a psychic vampire. Often when I leave her, I walk away feeling like I lost a pint of blood. I avoided her for a year once and then I regressed and went back to visit her. I wound up having a panic attack and nervous breakdown that day. Why does she have to appear in my dreams?
The food that she gives out at where she works is pea soup. I don't like pea soup. It smells like sweat and dirty socks. It has a certain fetid smell. No thanks. One less reason to go there. I hope to never see her again. I'd sooner move back to Vancouver a thousand times over than to ever see her again. I like Vancouver anyways.
But appearing in my dreams means nothing. My father appears in my dreams often. I won't see him ever again as he may have died. My dead Aunt has appeared in my dreams a few times. I'll certainly never see her again. Members of the British Royal Family and Queen Elizabeth too appeared in my dreams. I'll certainly never meet Queen Elizabeth and most likely I won't meet any of them. I have too much anxiety to ever visit England and the members of the BRF don't come to my town very often at all. Even if they did, I might see them at a distance. I don't think I'd ever shake hands and meet any of them. That's life.
The BRF in its present state is more fractured and dysfunctional than ever. Prince Harry lives in the United States now. Megxit.
The Chinese might say, "Prince Harry hoy say ah Queen Elizabeth toong mie Prince Philip." 'Hoy say' in an expression in Chinese which means betrayed to death. It loses a bit in translation as words can't underscore how serious this phrase means. Toong mie means 'and'.
My life is too crazy. I'm too crazy. That's why I can't smoke pot because all this comes back to me.
Pot is legal now but a few years ago it wasn't. I spent most of my life during times when it was illegal although after the year 2000 Police generally didn't crack down on people with pot especially in Vancouver.
Monday, February 6, 2023
I was in Esquimalt Victoria. I visited a Chinese restaurant. I asked if they had any Chinese food there, but they only had spaghetti.
There was a thin road surrounded with a wall but then it dipped down very sharply, like a dam. And this dip had some flowing water, also like a dam.
Tuesday, February 7, 2023
I was visiting the United States of America. I was with Heather. We walked through a field and then went into an underground museum. Then we went into a circular room in the museum. This room was surrounded with a blue curtain and had dim white light. In this small circular room was a round table. The tour guide pulled out a drawer of this table and there was a display of drugs in this table with a glass top. The tour guide said these drugs were a part of an event in American History.
Then me and Heather walked through another identical field. I tripped and fell but got up. There was a revolving metal door just like the one at Playland. We walked through that. Then we went into another museum pretty much identical to the one before. We went into a small circular room. The tour guide mentioned the exhibit from the last museum. This gets real strange. The tour guide said the drugs were from Croatia and when they were in the palace there in a hall of flowers, it upset everyone including the King. I said that Croatia would be a beautiful country to visit.
Then we went into another museum with another small circular room. Then President George W Bush was there! I was so happy and honored to meet him. He had grey hair and was wearing a long sleeve light blue shirt with buttons and collar and a dark blue blazer.
I knelt down in front of him and said, "Mr President George Bush, I am honored to meet you. I had a dream about meeting you once." He then said that he worked in the other museum sometimes but today he is working in this one. I said that I admired America.
US President George W Bush said that if I wrote my address down on a piece of paper, he would set up an appointment with me to meet an American baseball team. I wanted to give him my address. I wanted to escape the life I am living now and to move to America. I was hoping that if he had my address, he could help me move to America. With the papers I had with me I looked and looked but couldn't find one with my postal code as I had forgotten the postal code for where I live.
I asked Heather if she remembered my postal code. She said no. Figures. So I looked and looked again. President George W Bush said, "You don't have to write the postal code. I could look it up. You would really like to meet the pitcher of the baseball team. He is the fastest pitcher." I thought privately that I wasn't really much into baseball at all. Then I wrote my address down without postal code on a piece of paper. Then I lost that piece of paper among the other papers I had with me.
I looked for awhile and then I screamed in anguish. Then as I was writing on another piece of paper, I wrote, "To President George Bush" Then I remembered, "To President George W Bush" but when I wrote the W it was too close to the e at the end of the word George. As I was getting yet another piece of paper, President George W Bush got up and was leaving.
He said, "I've waited for over two hours. I have to go and work at the other museum." I walked with him a bit and said, "I don't blame you." Then I leaned my head down into the arm of a wooden chair and wept. I was clumsy and lost my chance to escape to America.
There were two women guests at this museum who said, "At the other museum, it was like there was a tide that swept you into the small room of the museum. At this museum you just had to walk into the small room of the museum."
What a strange and vivid dream. Not likely to ever come true. What are the chances I'd meet President George W Bush? I did have a dream about him years ago. In the dream, he had a very pronounced Southern accent that the television microphones on the News somehow downplays a bit. In the dream, he said, "If you do something wrong, son, it's gonna come back to you."
What are the chances that I'd meet any United States President?
My life as it is now is repetitive and somewhat boring. I would welcome a chance to move to the United States especially if I have help and sponsorship. No one in this town means that much to me that I'd stay for them if I had a chance to have a better life in the United States.
As for my postal code, when I woke up I remembered it. Strange that I couldn't remember it in the dream. I was another wacky crazy dream.
I don't think I would trade the dream of living near UBC or living in Kitsilano in Vancouver or even the dream of living at Beckley Manor in Victoria BC for a chance to live in the United States. However, where ever you live, there will always be unpleasant people who rub you the wrong way. That's guaranteed in any town you live in.
What was once an escape is now a trap and that applies to people as well as to places.
Vancouver
Pro - Advanced rock show infrastructure compared to Victoria. Lots to do.
Con - A personal regression to a former irritation and trap as all escapes eventually become traps.
Victoria
Pro -A new travel experience. Not a personal regression.
Con - A backwater compared to Vancouver. Fishbowl existence. Infrastructure OK but not on the level of Vancouver. Also selection of things in smaller towns is awful compared to bigger cities. Again, what was once an escape is now a trap.
"What Were Once Vices Are Now Habits" - The Doobie Brothers
Whether you decide to stay in one place or stay in another, either way, you are trading one set of advantages and disadvantages for another.
Slept again from 7:45 am to 10:30 am
I was walking around then I was in a line up of people I did a dance like kung fu Elvis.
Then I was talking to a psychic named Sam Sneady who said Elvis died from using too much drugs.
Then in another line up with white railing going up a slope ramp which then turned left and then went along a wall, the wall being on the right side of the second slope ramp of the line up. I said to Elvis that I was able to somehow travel back in time and to tell him that. "The psychic Sam Sneady told me to warn you not to do drugs especially cocaine."
First President George W Bush and then Elvis. You probably think I'm making this up. I don't care if you do. Why would I? It's not like I'm getting any money for doing this and as far as the Google in-house view count registers, my dream blogs usually have 1 or 2 views. It's an insufferable set up. I am a writer wanting to make an honest living and all that happens is that I get ripped off and my writings are stolen. Google is a corporation. In the same way that a pair of sunglasses made at a sweatshop for $5 costs $200 with most of the money going to the CEO, Google suppresses the view count of my writings. Me and millions of others.
Maybe a person said something that Google didn't like and they are put on some kind of shit list. Cancel culture is what a psychic described as Fascism disguised as Left Wingers. All Don Cherry ever said was 'you people' and he got cancelled or forced to retire early. You people? That's really milking it.
All a person has to do is say anything, even some stray thing that gets misconstrued or taken out of context and Google will suppress your view count. Or it may not be corporate. It might be private. For some indefineable reason, someone is envious of you and doesn't want you to advance so they hire a hacker to suppress you view count, etc. It can happen to anyone. There are two beautiful Canadian blonde ladies doing paranormal videos. Their videos don't get much views. There is not one whiff of scandal in their lives. They never did anything wrong but they don't have much of a view count.
Maybe their Canadian. On average a Canadian will get less of a view count than Americans since Google is American based. It's like how the Americans will get the best hockey players from Canada and in return send Canada second rate hockey players like how Vancouver's Bo Horvat was traded for 3 second or third rate hockey players.
The hockey thing is another form of American imperialism. The Americans have coopted the Canadian made Stanley Cup to make up for any defects in their culture.
But the US has about 350 million people to Canada's 35 million people. If even 15% of Americans watch hockey, that's more than 100% of Canadians watching hockey.
The United States has ten times the population as Canada does but they sure as heck have more than ten times the money as Canada does. Maybe a thousand times, at least.
In the United States Universities you can get a buffet for $10. In Canada Universities a burrito costs about $10. The United States has a more comprehensive food supply infrastructure where there is food storage every ten or 20 miles along the highway there is a town. In Canada you can drive 100 miles along the highway in some places without there being any towns.
Brad Pitt, Moneyball. For example, the Vancouver Canucks annual budget is $60 million while New York Islanders budget is $200 million.
What if a Canadian team wins the Stanley Cup in Canada, say Winnipeg Jets. The after party in Winnipeg would be all right but it wouldn't be on the level if the Stanley Cup was won in Los Angeles or in New York or in Florida, the after party would be better and more intense than partying in Winnipeg which is a backwater compared to New York or Los Angeles or Florida.
This doesn't happen in other parts of the World like Europe or Asia where the countries that win the championship cup are more evenly distributed. No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since 1993. Before that, for every ten years, 5 Stanley Cups would be won in Canada and 5 would be won in the US, on average.
Canada can't do anything for themselves in that regard, why would you think that Canada can do anything for you?
I love the United States. They have the best funk music. They have the best movies. And they have Pastor Joel Osteen, Pastor Joyce Meyer and Douglas Bloch. Americans are very smart and very spiritual people. I met some great Americans who made an impression on me that I will never forget.
The StatesMan. The KingsMan.
"I'll have a Statesman on the rocks." The KingsMan.
Wednesday, February 8, 2023
In Vancouver.
I met a man and then went to his apartment to talk. I visited that apartment regularly.
Then after I met another guy and went to his apartment. When I left the apartment of this other guy, I recognized that it was the apartment I visited before. I realized that I had a job I had to report to a 5pm every day, a restaurant job. As I was leaving the apartment of this other guy, I decided o visit the apartment of the man who I used to visit regularly.
I visited but he seemed upset. He wanted to talk to me in the hall. I went to the hall but as soon as he sat down, there was another guy and a lady who was also there. I said to him, "You couldn't talk to me alone. You had to bring these other people to gang up on me." Then I saw a procession of people walk down a flight of stairs behind him and then walk across the room behind him going from left to right. These were his family members. I thought I recognized a lady who seemed like a young teenager, red curly hair and wearing a pink jacket. She looked right at me. I had the impression that I knew her when she was a little girl, hadn't seen her for years and now she's a young teenager. A pretty girl.
This man then said something about me visiting him and him and his family always giving me treats and things to eat but that I never treated them. I thought of treating them to KFC one day in the future but then I had to get to work.
Teleport. I walked down a hall. One of the rooms had a door open. My friend Charles from Dawson Creek was talking to someone trying to convince this guy to work for him, "You have what it takes to be a security guard," Charles said. There was a line up of a family of Oriental people in the hallway.
Then I woke up in a bed in this apartment. Then I saw a tiny little mouse with fur running across the bed. I was able to catch it. I was thinking that this is a Star Wars mouse. I threw the mouse into a cooking pot that had KFC gravy that was for some reason, there. I then threw the little mouse onto the floor in the hallway where there were three rats that looked like opossums. a mother and two smaller babies that quickly pounced on and ate that little mouse and these opossums really enjoyed the gravy on the little mouse.
After having this dream I woke up a little bit afraid. Oh, the fear and anxiety will never go away. Last night I had an anxiety attack which lasted for about 5 minutes. Life is overwhelming. Life is wretched.
This morning I had a quick dream of Abraham Lincoln. The room was dark. The left side of his face was seen as he was lying on a bed and the back of his head which was lying on white pillows had cloths on it as someone was using their hands to dress the back of his head. Then Abraham Lincoln got up off the bed and walked. He seemed to walk like a zombie. He was wearing his well known black tuxedo. I shook myself when I had this dream. People will think I'm crazy for having this dream! First Abraham Lincoln dream I ever had.
How could I have a dream of Abraham Lincoln? He died 105 years before I was born!
We originate from heaven which is pure good and which has the same certain set of physics as the dream world including teleportation, no need to eat, no need to sleep. But then we come to an Earth with a different set of physics and which is a mixture of good as well as bad, in order so that we can learn and get spiritually stronger and more evolved.
But doesn't hell already have bad elements? Why send us into this dimension with it's awful set of physics when we can be sent into a spirit dimension which would likewise have a mixture of good and bad, and we could learn there. To create a physical dimension with a mixture of good and bad with this set of physics when it would be just as well as simpler to create a spirit dimension with a mixture of good and bad and with a different set of physics. It seems like this dimension is redundant.
I think the dream world is that dimension. The dream world is like this world with it's mixture of good as well as bad elements and the dream world has a different set of physics. So in life, we are learning from two different sets of dimensional classrooms.
Afterwards, who knows what happens? Is there a heaven? Since I believe in angels and since I believe in Jesus and since I believe I've seen spirits of those who died who I know in dreams and in dreams they seem happy then I must believe that there is a heaven. Is there also a hell? Who knows. I've encountered in literature and on YouTube people who do believe and people who don't believe that there is a hell. Who knows? Don't worry about what you can't control.
There are things that can only be learned and things that can only be experienced in the physical dimension that couldn't be experienced in a spiritual dimension. Or maybe the physical dimension is also the spiritual dimension in disguise and that things in the physical dimension like pain and not being able to pass through walls and not being able to teleport is an illusion. Oh, what ever. Too much thinking. Too much overthinking!
I have never heard of a normal dream. All dreams are crazy so I'm going to be having crazy dreams for life. That's why I'm afraid of life and that's why I'm afraid of the future.
I still struggle with intrusive and unwanted thoughts. Pretty much every time when I say the Lord's Prayer, "Our Father in heaven, holy is your name...." The same set of very intrusive and very unwanted thoughts come into my mind like some crazy Weschler's word association. I think I need to see a psychiatrist or maybe I'm just damned. I'm better off dead. I wonder if God could or would just cut my life short. I've learned enough. There's no more that I need to do in life anyways. Maybe I'm demonically possessed and a lot of people have wondered if they were at one point in their life or another. I hope I'm not demonically possessed. I am a follower of Jesus.
I am thinking of referring to the spirits of the dead as, "the spirits of those who are now more alive than we are". As in a vivid dream, the afterlife would seem even more real than this life and the spirits there would feel more alive than they ever did in this world.
Thursday, February 9, 2023
I was working at a restaurant, in the kitchen as a dishwasher. This part of the dream vaguely remembered although at the time it went on and on vividly.
Then I left the restaurant. I was in New Westminster and I was flying. I asked someone for directions. He said, "Hang a left."
Then wake up. Then sleep again.
I was still in New Westminster. I go to a store. There were a few teenagers there. They were all wearing identical green and white jackets. Green jackets with identical large white patches on either side of the shoulder. One of them was a young Oriental lady. When she smiled, her teeth looked just like an 'Aunt' that I used to know. I referred to her as an 'Auntie' although she wasn't really my Aunt.
I then go to an ice rink. There were lots of people there. I was looking for the girl who looks like 'Auntie'. The place just outside the ice rink but still in the building where people laced their skates was large but dimly lit. I went to a door that opened into the ice rink. I was about to put on my ice skates. For some reason I did a kung fu kick very quickly to show others. Then I laced up my skates. I went over to another door that opened into the ice rink and I saw that the ice rink was empty and a zamboni machine was there clearing and smoothing the ice. Then I loudly asked, "Who is the girl I met before?" A bunch of people put up their hands including a couple of muscular teenage guys with long curly hair.
I did a sprint and a slide over a large table.
I went back to the first door and grabbed my knapsack and another knapsack which from the back looks like the Roots knapsack that I own. But when I looked on the front of this second knapsack, it looked like a Benetton knapsack with a bunch of large different flourescent color squares on the knapsack.
As I was leaving I asked an adult female schoolteacher about the girl I was looking for. She said her name is "Cinnamon Magic." or something like that. She then gave me a newspaper clipping with a color picture of a bunch of naked girls giving a guy a handjob She was a sex worker! I was going to say, "That looks shocking. I didn't know she was like that." but decided that sounded gay. So instead as I was leaving I said, "The picture. Jizzathon. The jizz Olympics. A jizz weekend." etc
Sunny day. I was walking North along North Road in New Westminster on the East side of the Street. Then to my right, there was a school with a bunch of people. There was grass all around the school grounds. Then I walked to a cement area surrounded with grass. There were lots of people there, mainly teenagers. There was a bunch of people sitting side by side. One of them was an old lady looking downward. From that downward angle, she looked just like Queen Elizabeth. Then she looked up slightly and I saw that she was not Queen Elizabeth. I then asked around for the girl I met before but I forgot her stage name.
I tried to remember, was it caramel flower, rainbow shower, sweet dewdrops? The dream ended right then and there.
If one has a dream and they wake up for only a few minutes and then sleep again and have another dream, the dream has a good chance of picking up at the place where the last dream ended. But it one has a dream and is awake for several hours, then their dream will pick up at a completely different place because the elements of things they experience during the day influence and affect the next dream. The dream seemed heavenly. I was busy and fully occupied and I didn't need my mp3 player and headphones. This is what the afterlife must be like.
In dreams one goes to a certain zone or plane since one is still tethered to their physical body. Once a person dies, the dynamic changes and they go to an entirely different plane. But the dream plane or dream zone is a mid ways meeting place where the spirits of those who died but usually the spirits of those who are living can meet up with you and convey a message or simply just to say hi.
Ivory LaNoue said that if you start seeing paranormal interdimensional entities, the natural response is to think that you are crazy. You are not crazy. Your vibrations are becoming faster and finer and more evolved so that you will start seeing things.
I see things in my dreams all the time including Royalty. Naturally I think I'm crazy. But Ivory LaNoue would say that I'm not crazy. I'm just reaching a certain level.
Andrea Perron said that once you open a door in the paranormal world or in paranormal achievement, that door becomes impossible to close. In my case, once I started seeing Royalty in my dreams even once, that started a whole lifetime ever since of seeing Royalty in dreams. I first started seeing members of the British Royal Family in my dreams when I was in Dawson Creek around 2007.
Friday, February 10, 2023
I was on a field trip with some University students. I had some large hard skin flaps hanging from my toes. After some time I trimmed them off with nail clippers. Then I left that group with the field trip.
I went on a highway near SFU in Vancouver. I was thinking that, "Times of uncertainty and struggle are normal. After all, this is my first year out of high school." I woke up remembering this part of the dream and thought, "Really? My first year out of high school? I'm almost 53 years old now! I'm old!"
I then went to a place on the highway, with some stools for sitting. I thought of Ukraine and Ukrainians for some weird whatever reason. Dreams are strange, always.
Then I went to a Dairy Queen. There were two East Indian men behind the counter who were working there. I asked for a medium caramel sundae with extra whipped cream. They gave me a large sized sundae but only charged me for a medium sized. One of the employees name was Sahar Kitar and I recognized him from high school. I dropped some caramel from my caramel sundae on the floor. I scooped up what I could with my fingers off the floor and threw it back into my caramel sundae. This part of the dream echoes my real life OCD with food. Some people can eat half of something and throw the other half away. I have to eat it all.
One of the high school students said to me, "If you're going back to Vancouver you can fly below us."
I went to another place, a room. And Sahar Kitar tried to steal my knapsack. In the knapsack was a strange plastic needle. There was no metal needle it was a plastic needle shaped thing to squeeze cheese out of. Sahar tried to steal that too.
Life is too overwhelming. Too crazy. I thank God for the gift of life yet at the same time, I'd like to quit life altogether, not through suicide but through the grace of God giving me a reprieve. I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep.
Life has too many chores, too many details. Life never gets better. Life is just going from one set of problems to another.
Harrison Ford said in the TV series 1823, something like, "I've been here for 50 years and I've never seen an easy year." This was in reply to someone saying something like, "The easy years make up for the hard years otherwise we wouldn't even bother."
That's true. I've never seen an easy year. Every year of my life has been difficult. But there's difficult and there's difficult. I've met people with profound disabilities, yet they seem cheerful enough and they certainly haven't given up on life through doing themselves in. Every year of their life must have been difficult. I wonder how they find the strength and the will to even bother. Although, it's not easy to commit suicide.
Sunday, February 12, 2023
I was at Church. Then a Chinese man challenged me to fight. Standing up, I stretched both of my legs, one leg at a time to my head, each of my feet touching my face. I could only be this flexible and only do this in dreams where dreams have a different set of physics. I couldn't do this in real life. I fought the man and wound up winning.
Then there was a car race. A man drove a car vertically up a small cliffside and then into a department store where there was a road laid out in the department store. A lady was following in another car wondering if she could drive her car vertically up the cliffside too.
I wish I could get a million dollars for my writings about dreams. I wish I could get a million dollars for all my writings. If I had a million dollars, I'd move to Vancouver and live in a nice place in Kitsilano or else UBC or even try to get a more affordable nice place in the Eastside of Vancouver near Oppenheimer Park, or Commercial Drive. God knows that I miss Vancouver.
I think someone is ripping me off of my writing royalties. Such is life.
Monday, February 13, 2023
I was at a hospital for a long time. I was wearing a mask. The hospital said that normally, my breathing is about 69 breaths in 62 minutes but now my breaths were 25 breaths in 67 minutes or something like that. The numbers may not be exact but are approximate. At the hospital I met a friendly Native lady who was my nurse. I also wanted to leave the hospital at some point to get my note pad with drawings.
I was in a large room with a few people. I then saw Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney. He looked old and was wrinkly. I walked up to him. "Brian Mulroney!" I said. "I remember you from the 80s." I was going to ask him about is debates with John Turner. But he was walking away. I stayed in that room and looked at him from a distance. He was wearing a blue suit. Not dark blue, not light blue. Blue. He was also wearing a white shirt with collar and buttons and a dark purple tie.
I was in Thailand. This was night time. I was on an island in the middle of the street. There were a lot of University students there. They were wearing white cardigans with a blue trim. These cardigans had a blue Polo Ralph Lauren horse. I said I had a Polo jacket that was just as nice.
I had a large note pad with me that had writings as well as drawings I was currently working on.
The previous King of Thailand appeared and was giving a speech to these students. He sat at the head of the island.
I decided to leave the speech. Perhaps it was because I thought speeches were boring or that I didn't belong there and that the irreverent drawings in my notebook didn't go with the topic of the speech.
I was walking away into an adjacent parking lot. The King saw me and he made a motion as if telling his workers to follow me.
I saw a Police car. An old Thai lady got out of the Police car and was behind me chasing me. She had plastic cords to tie my hands. Then there were a bunch of Thai ladies in front of me also with plastic cords chasing me. These old Thai ladies all had shoulder length black hair not grey hair and their hair was styled in bouffants. They were all very friendly. They said that the King wanted to meet me.
They were all dressed in red. The King was at a table with his family. I knelt down on the ground both of my hands on the ground as I bowed before him. Where I was on the ground was right behind the chair where a Thai Princess was sitting. The King said to me that more people should be interested in South East Asia. I was still bowing. Now in all this part of the dream, he looked old and had wrinkles.
He asked why I left. I told him that I didn't think my drawings fit the topic of his speech.
The King and the Queen went to a restaurant and I followed him. Now he looks young. I was about to tell him that I've had dreams about him, but he read my mind and said, "You've had dreams about me." I nodded. He then said, "Him not me. Him look like me." When he said that, I cried bittersweet tears.
That was a long extended Royal dream. Not just a momentary glimpse as I sometimes get. Royal dreams means something good. It either means that someone is looking out for me or that I am more important than I realize and that there is a mission in life for me and that I must not give up.
Pastor Joel Osteen said, "You have Royal blood flowing through your veins."
I don't know about that.
What a night of dreams. Seeing Brian Mulroney and the previous King of Thailand.
These dreams mean that I am not alone in my struggles in life.
Tuesday, February 14, 2023
There is a teenage girl but she started off as a little girl. Then her older brother who was sifting through a clear plastic bag full of yellow and red popcorn told her as she got older that she was in Level 1, Level 2, etc. in the mafia. As soon as she got older, her brother took her red sportscar.
Lining up for a tryout at boxing. The person behind the desk looked at all the people who were lining up's records. My record was looked at. I was refused. Then there was a cop wearing a long sleeve light blue shirt. He was tall, kind of fat and had dark hair. As I was walking out, he was walking in to the boxing examinations. He walked out. He told me that he was turned down. I said, "That's bizarre since you're a cop." He said that he had something on his record.
Then I went to an apartment. A mafia guy wearing a tank top was looking through his fridge for drugs. He found them in a drawer in the fridge with vegetables. The drugs were in very small one gram containers that looked like containers for pills. There were black ones and white ones. I asked him what's in the pill containers. He said, "The black ones are M, morphine. The white ones are Wimps; Cibrons and Jilibrons."
There was a mention of someone applying as a security guard and enrolling in Queens University.
Wake up briefly in the morning, sleep again, and then
I was working at a warehouse. I saw my friend Lynn about to leave. I yelled, "Lynn, let me have a chance to talk to you or else I'll have a broken heart!" I was running on muddy ground wearing slippers. When I almost got to Lynn, she was getting in a car her friend was driving and she took off.
I was lying down on the ground and just weeping, crying. There were people around me. I said that I have a broken heart and I give up on life.
I then went into a room and saw the Church Reverend named Mitch. I told him that I just want to give up on life. The other dimension exists on a different dynamic with a different set of physics."
I went outside again and was lying down on the ground in despair. I said to all who were walking past that "I have a broken heart. I give up on life. I want to go to the other dimension that exists on a different dynamic and with a different set of physics where I don't have to worry about eating or drinking or sleeping." I didn't think I was dreaming. I thought I was awake or I wouldn't have said that.
Then a lady with reddish purple shoulder length straight hair wearing a red Canadian Tire uniform approached me and was really friendly to me as if saying that if Lynn broke my heart, I could talk to her instead. We walked into an underground parking lot that was still on street level. She had these carpets which had ants all over them. I brushed them into a dumpster. Some of these ants got on my hand and stung me which I could feel on the palms of my hands as I clapped the ants on my hands into the dumpster. There were more insects. There was a guy who was her friend and coworker and he had insects on his pants. I brushed them off. There were ants and other larger insects. I brushed most of them off. I told them that I was going to miss the food line and not go there and instead go to Vancouver since I can get to Vancouver in less than an hour using a new system that I didn't know about before. Had I known about this system, I would have gone to Vancouver more often. I told the guy to go behind a car and to take off his pants, leaving his underwear on to shake the insects off of his pants. Dream over.
Another strange dream. I'm used to them now. It takes time to heal from trauma. At the time, you think you'd never heal from the trauma but you do. I had burnout and exhaustion and fear and anxiety and it was really bad a couple of years ago. It's gotten a lot better now. One has to have enough sleep. Even a bit more than enough sleep. A few years ago, a Native guy who I thought was my friend but he was a malevolent jealous guy said to me that not having enough sleep and having some insomnia was good and overall improves one's mood.
How wrong that is. Not having enough sleep leads to chronic long term exhaustion which is usually unacknowledged but eventually manifests into a severe anxiety disorder.
The forces of life will bring people into your life that are just wrong wrong wrong.
Pastor Joyce Meyer said, "You should never tell anyone that they trust them completely and unconditionally and that the only person you should have that kind of trust in is Jesus."
People are imperfect and people generally will let you down. But that's also projection. One's self is imperfect and one's self also often let themself down.
Others let me down and I let myself down. It's a vicious cycle. I judge and criticize others and I judge and criticize myself. And others judge and criticize me too.
Wednesday, February 15, 2023
Afternoon nap. I was living with an old bald room mate and he had a pet leopard and also some birds.
The leopard started as a baby but grew bigger over time. One time, I was cleaning the bird cage on top of the fridge and the leopard stalked me and jumped on the top of the fridge where I was. The leopard had it's back against the wall and bared one set of long silver claws and then another and snarled. I jumped and threw the bird cage outside into the second storey porch below to get the leopard to chase it.
I then got out through the window in the third storey room I was in on my back as that's the way that you should get out of a window if there's a leopard in the house. If I got out on my stomach, the leopard would jump on my back and eat me.
Anyways, for some reason I had a small toy rifle that was actually a real gun. I also had a bullet for some reason. I loaded this toy rifle and fired into the leopard. I heard a loud bang and I saw the bullet lodged underneath the leopard. The leopard fell over into the yard where there were some pet cats that surrounded the leopard.
Suddenly a female RCMP Officer showed up outside wearing a winter style hat that had flaps. I told her what happened, "My room mate has a pet leopard. I told him not to get a leopard." He was sitting on a sofa in a corner next to the window to the right of the window. I knocked on his bald head. "Hello! He doesn't listen. I was cleaning the bird cages. The leopard that had grown had stalked me and exposed it's claws and was snarling. Then when I went out the window, the leopard followed me. I had a toy gun and fired." The female RCMP Officer was then in the apartment. This is a dream. Dreams have ghosts. Ghosts can suddenly teleport into a room, passing through walls while doing it. As I reached out of the window to scoop up the bird cage that had fallen out, she said, "If a leopard was stalking me, that would scare the fuck out of me too." I saw the leopard was pacing outside in the yard. I wanted the dream to continue, to either see the female RCMP Officer shoot the leopard or call animal control. But the dream was over then. It seemed so real at the time.
The day after I had this dream, I found out on the News that on this day, the female Commissioner of the RCMP retired.
Saturday, February 18, 2023
My boss at an old place that I was working at gave me a pamphlet. It was about moving to another town to work in Atlantic Canada, in Newfoundland. It seemed like a welcome change to the old grind over and over again in this town.
Sunday, February 19, 2023
I woke up this morning overthinking. I was thinking about the inflation of food and real estate prices. And I was thinking that the Royals were getting some of the tax money from the inflation of real estate and food.
Then I fell asleep again and saw a hypnagogic vision of the BRF, Prince William and Princess Kate and their children wearing felt coats each felt coat was a different color from the rest.
Then I saw a row of soldiers wearing red military uniforms. On each of the uniforms were many round gold medals each with a ribbon attached above it which the round gold medals were hanging from. These soldiers were facing me.
Behind these soldiers and to the left stood King Charles wearing the exact military uniform.
Behind King Charles was the entrance to a castle. 5 stone steps then a landing with two round white pillars. Between the white pillars were two white doors each with a pane of glass in the center. The panes of glass were framed with wood dividers, 4 vertical and 2 horizontal. I could see within the glass of these doors was a hallway of red carpet. On the right stood two guards wearing the same military uniforms. On the left stood another monarch, Queen Elizabeth wearing the same military uniform.
I even drew a picture of this at Church. There were many colors of felt pens at Church. I deliberately chose the red felt pen because it reminded me of the red of the military uniforms.
Wednesday, February 22, 2023
I was in Thailand and I saw the previous King of Thailand. I was on a crowded street with lots of cafe tables. Then I saw the previous King of Thailand walking in the distance. He was wearing a red military uniform and he had a white bandage across his forehead over his right eye and sloping over his right eye. The bandage was about three inches wide. For some reason that I don't know why, him wearing a bandage looked familiar to me.
Then I was in a room where he was. I sensed he was there but didn't see him. All the other people in the room knew that he was there.
There was a black railing on a carpeted floor that we were all supposed to sit down cross legged and in a line up.
Then I was able to go back to Vancouver but had to return to Thailand at 4 pm. I was able to return to Thailand but wonder if I forgot or lost my passport. I also forgot my jacket. In Thailand I saw my friend Jaroon. He led me to a room where I saw my old clothes. They were Polo Ralph Lauren clothes. He had kept all my Polo Ralph Lauren clothes from my last visit.
Thursday, February 23, 2023
I was in Vancouver. I was thinking that now that I am in Vancouver for good, I miss Victoria BC and I should have enjoyed it more when I was there and I would have knowing what was to happen, that I'd move back to Vancouver one day.
I got on a bus. There was a bus drivers station facing the front and the back of the bus. I was offered a place sitting in the back of the bus. The station didn't have any running electricity. I wore my Police hat which could also be a bus drivers hat, the one without any badge.
The bus drove down a curving street and then sides wiped a restaurant on the side where I was sitting. An old lady yelled at me. I said "I love you." to her. All the passengers including me and including the bus driver all went into the restaurant. This restaurant had been serving bus passengers since the 1960s. There was food which I must have eaten although I don't quite remember this part. Afterwards when I crouched down, I noticed a lot of coins on the wooden bench seat I was sitting in next to the table. I was going to scoop them for myself but the restaurant owner noticed. I scooped them up and put them into the tip jar except for one or two coins.
Then we went to another such restaurant. There was a fish tank but nearly empty of water, the water was one quarters high and it needed to be full of water. I scooped the fish out into a white plastic bucket. I then poured water into the aquarium until it was full. I poured the fish back into the aquarium. There was one goldfish lying outside the aquarium. It was on a road outside. The goldfish was missing its head and had a vertical slash across its belly and its meat was white as it had been steamed.
End of dream.
YouTube videos in the topic said that coins are an angel sign. Coins and feathers and the number 1111 or 111.
Friday, January 24, 2023
Very strange dream. Very strange.
Me and my stepsister were in a relationship. We visited her mother, my stepmother. Me and my stepsister kissed in front of my stepmother. She didn't seem to mind. My stepsister was away during the day. I couldn't visit her during the day. I was afraid to visit my stepsister again because I realized that my stepmother was somewhat angry about the affair.
I went back to my old high school. There was a sports game there. Just before the game, I dimly recall that I might have had a fight with some of the students. When the game had commenced, I couldn't go to the game because I hadn't bought a ticket.
Then I saw my high school guidance counsellor. He told me that one of the students I went to school with named Simon Philips had died. I told him thwt I don't remember a Simon Philips. I realized that at my age, somewhere in the 50s, there is a possibility of hearing such news. I wanted to talk to my guidance about the strange affair between my stepsister and me. He was unavailable at the time but said to return later. I returned later and I remembered that Simon was part of the computer class. I talked to the counsellor about my affair. He quoted a poem that I don't remember.
This dream does not resonate with reality at all. The last time I have seen anyone from my immediate family was over 20 years ago. As for affairs, forget it. That would be unthinkable and very offsetting.
And there was never a Simon Philips in computer class when I was in high school. My dream mind just conjured up that fiction for some strange reason.
This dream blog of mine doesn't have many readers. The tyrannical Google view counter just counts one view every month. There must be more viewers than that after all this time. There is something criminal going on. This blog is criminally under rated. What can you say about the human species? Someone is stealing and making money off my writing. Publishing is known to be a very unethical and dishonest business.
"The music industry is a long narrow hallway full of pimps and thieves." Hunter S Thompson
The same can be said about the publishing industry. Mainly thieves. I should have been paid in the 6 figures for my writing. Then I could live in a nice place like on Dallas Road beach in Victoria BC or in Kitsilano or near UBC in Vancouver.
Any entertainment media is full of people getting it for free. Movies, literature and music can be borrowed from the Library or seen on the Internet for free. Used books at sold for very cheap at flea markets and the writers don't get royalties from that. To be an artist, writer or musician is to get ripped off. No wonder parents advise their children not to become artists. Odds are you won't make money and your art will either get stolen or you'll be ripped off.
I lost so many journals in other towns. Left town without bringing them along. Those writings were priceless and included dream journals too. It's heartbreaking. It's so heartbreaking that when my mother died presumably of childbirth, why didn't she take me along with her or why didn't God or else the Fates take me along with her? My life has been a waste of time. My dream blog doesn't get a lot of viewers and I haven't been able to make money from this. I'm better off dead. Seeing what's become of my life, I wish I had died decades ago. All my art, my cartoons, my writings, I didn't make any money off of it. Instead I get ripped off. I really would prefer to have died decades ago than to have this happen to me. As God as my witness.
Saturday, February 25, 2023
There was something about high school but now I forgot.
Then I was at a Japanese restaurant. There were menu items that seemed pricey. But I had money with me and the use of my debit card.
Wake up, sleep again. Morning dream:
I went to Wreck Beach with my friend Sunny. I told him where the pot dealers were. The dealer's name was Kevin. I got a bag of pot and so did Sunny. When we looked, it wasn't pot but 4 species of plants. One was large oval leaves, one was branches and red and white flowers, and one was a very small silver flower bud and then other very small oval leaves.
He told me it was weed but grown in a new form.
I saw Kevin later on in the street. I attacked him and won. I wasn't happy about getting ripped off. I then went to the Army and Navy on Hastings. It felt good after going to UBC which is where Wreck Beach is. Then I went back to UBC. There was a department store at UBC. Someone else, a tall muscular guy who had shoulder length blonde hair, was sweating and wearing a light purple with blue trim tank top, was beating Kevin up. Kevin had ripped that guy off as well. I yelled, "Die, Kevin. Die!!" Kevin merely looked shocked and stuck his tongue out. In the store, Kevin was still being beat up and although I thought of helping that guy beat Kevin up, I thought that was too evil so I walked on.
I was in Vancouver. This part is strange and hard to explain. I saw a scene in Vancouver that looked like it was a scene from a News broadcast. I walked to it, but it was upside down. Muddy and road reconstruction. I finally was able to get to Vancouver and right side up.
I reflected that it was all right to get a little bit of pot, about 1 gram once a month and not any more just like someone doesn't get endless bottles of wine throughout every month, but they might drink one bottle of wine a month.
I think the theme of the Kevin dream is revenge. Someone does something wrong to me, I will revenge them in some way. Usually a passive aggressive form of revenge like ignoring them or thinking angry thoughts about them. But I wouldn't do anything drastic like help someone beat them up.
The theme is also that people work in patterns. Just as Kevin ripped me off, he also ripped off the tall muscular guy.
That tall muscular guy could be a guardian angel. The Bible says that you may have entertained angels, unaware.
Forgiveness does not mean exposing yourself to the same abuse again.
Just as there are many forms of revenge, there are many forms of forgiveness. Avoiding someone for a very long time isn't a form of revenge but a form of forgiveness. At the same time, I also haven't insulted them or said anything mean to them.
To see them again is a form of compassion for them. To avoid them is a form of compassion for yourself. One can't be compassionate to others until they are compassionate to themself.
Sunday, February 26, 2023
I was working at a place for 6 days a week as a janitor. Heather was sometimes there with me, in her electric wheelchair. The President Donald Trump visited. He was wearing a light grey suit. At one point he was on his knees as he said a prayer. In the janitor job, I asked Trump if I could work 5 days instead of 6 days a week. I reflected that working 6 days a week brings good money. At one point I accidentally cleaned the floors using liquid chalk. Trump retuned and was pouring some Comet out of a dispenser of Comet.
I was talking to a boy and I told him that I have lost about two-thirds of my teeth and I opened my mouth to show him. In real life, I actually have about half of my teeth gone which is why I dread the future. Old age means to lose teeth. However I have seen YouTube videos of people in their 30s who have lost all their teeth.
Then I am living at what used to be a Chinese Church. The building was very old and was grey in colour. I recognized the place to be at the North side of Pender between Jackson and Dunlevy Avenues in Vancouver. I stayed in that old Church which was turned into a rooming house. There were buildings just as old surrounding this rooming house but they were torn down. From this point on, the dream gets weird.
I stayed on the third floor of this old Church. On the stairway to the 3rd floor, on the 2nd floor was a sink and in the sink on the right side was a small box which I understood to hold the ashes of someone and I also understood somehow that these were the ashes of someone Royal and British. Weird. I brought the entire sink into my room.
Soon afterwards a bunch of tenants and me were in a room in a meeting with the manager and the manager was none other than Donald Trump. He was putting on his socks and I saw his bare feet as he was putting on socks. I wanted to move somewhere else and I thought of getting a new washroom installed including a toilet, sink and bathtub. I thought it would cost $3,000. There were other tenants there. Trump asked what I was paying for rent. I said, $442 a month. The other tenants said they were paying the same. I had my right leg outstretched under a blanket as I was sitting on a couch. A tenant sat next to me on the femur of my right leg while it was under the blanket. The pressure felt good on my right leg but it was also very rude. Typical. Even in dreams I encounter delinquents. The wretched human species is what it is.
Then something really weird. There was a porno showing Trump getting it on with a young black woman. I understood as how you understand things in dreams that the image of Trump in the porno video was a deepfake, it wasn't Trump. At that point, Trump has left the room.
Very strange dream. But seeing anyone for a long time meant that I was in a deep state of sleep and seeing ex President Donald Trump was rather special.
What does seeing ex Presidents and even Royalty in my dreams mean?
Tuesday, February 28, 2023
Part of a much longer dream now forgotten.
I got bitten on the pinkie finger edge of my right hand by one small green snake. It's long brown fangs sunk into the knife edge of my right hand palm. It took a long time to get the snake off.
Then I was almost bitten by a very small green two headed snake. I he'd the two heads of the snake between the index finger and thumb of my right hand. The two snake heads were wriggling and they were very strong. It took some effort to hold the two snake heads between my index finger and my thumb. I looked for something I could use. My Aunt Wong was there. She had a steel spatula and cut the snake's heads off with the spatula. She then said a Latin phrase which I don't remember exactly.
A couple of days earlier I saw the movie Beast and there was a scene were Idris Alba grabbed a snake by the head. This might have subconsciously triggered this part of the dream.
Afternoon nap.
I was staying in a hospital ward. Then I saw Michael J Fox and he was wearing his Back to the Future jacket. He then quickly disappeared but left on a coat rack two of his jackets. One was his future 2015 jacket and the other jacket was his past 1955 jacket. I tried on his future jacket with the reddish purple shoulder patches. Then when I tried on the 1955 jacket, it wouldn't fit. It was too small.
Then I wandered down the hallway of the ward. I entered into a room and I dropped my earplugs. I knelt down to pick them up.
Then I went into a room. To my left was a guy I knew from the past. He was facing away from me. To his left sat another guy. At the foot of his bed was a Native lady I knew from before. She was slightly fat. In the dream she appeared to be in her early 20s. She must be in her 40s or 50s now. She was wearing a black nighty.
I sat on a bed on the right side of the room, if the other guy lying down on the bed was on the left side of the room. A nurse with red shoulder length hair was sitting to the left of me. She told me that she gave the guy on the bed a BJ and she said she went down to the root twice. I asked her if she could give me a BJ. She said that she would but that we would have to go somewhere else first. I left with her walking on my left. I told her that I had to urinate and then clean myself with water first. Then the dream was over.
I wonder if I will ever meet a lady who will give me a good BJ ever again. I might live the next 20 to 30 years of my life until death and never meet such a lady. I would be willing to pay for something like that. This kind of fear gives me such despair that I think I would be better off dead than to go through life and to never get a BJ ever again. My life is dismal. I fear the future.
I would be willing to pay a hooker for a BJ. I hope I meet a hooker as a friend one day again. I met lots of hookers as friends when I was living at the downtown eastside in Vancouver. This town is too prim and proper for that. Sex is kept in check.
I never know what the future could bring. Lots of good things have happened to me. Things that I once thought would never happen to me. My life is full of examples like that.
I have been writing about my dreams for years and not once did I ever meet a person or encounter a person to walk me through my dreams and to tell me what they mean. Such is life. I think humans are too primitive to know such things although there have been dream interpreters since Biblical times. Such dream interpreters work for the government and they are difficult to find.
Monday, February 28, 2023
I was floating in space. In the distance I saw a room that looked small because it was in the distance. Then I was in the room and the room looked big. There were small posters that were ochre or sepia and black and white in color of 1930s cartoon characters covering the wall from floor to ceiling.
Then sitting on a chair was an old man with a face that was happy and sad at the same time. He had furrows on his forehead and a dimpled grin. I recognized him as Walt Disney.
Then still night time, I went into a yard. A saw swirls of small golden specks of light spiralling together and receding upwards into the sky. I heard a voice saying, "These are spirits going to heaven."
These golden swirls I saw again two days later when I saw the movie We Have A Ghost on the Miixy app. When Ernest the ghost was on his way to heaven, his fingers, hands and entire body turned into spiralling specks of golden light that looked exactly like the spiralling specks of goldn light I saw in this dream.m. I thought if this dream as I was watching this scene in the movie. Hollywood is 100% real as the saying goes.
I don't know if Hollywood is 100% real. The movie Moonfall showed spinning circular gears and also aliens in the center of the moon. I don't think that's real.
One more thing. The small room in the distance then growing large as I quickly teleported into it and the room was surrounding me reminded me of the IMAX movie The Unseen World as a object was small then grew very large filling the screen.
