Thursday, September 1, 2022
I was hanging out with a lady.
Then I was in Cambodia. There were alligators. Someone dived underneath to water next to a straw hut to fight the alligator. I would say crocodile but these animals had thin snouts. Crocodiles have broad snouts. There were two alligators. A Cambodian man asked me to just push the snouts down. That didn't work. I ran into the straw house. The alligators didn't follow because they knew that people had knives that would cut the alligators snouts off. The alligators also knew that once in awhile there was a general cull where all but the strongest alligator would be hunted down and killed.
I was still in Cambodia chopping watermelons. Then the lady appeared in the watermelon chopping factory and asked for 9,000 Russian dollars.
Then at another place outside of a house, the backyard. Me and the lady were there. There were a few other people there. There was snow on the ground. On a hill of pebbles, a Russian man threw out of a window on the ground floor the 9,000 Russian dollars in coins. The girl retrieved them. Then an old lady appeared in the window. On the hill of pebbles there was a framed picture of me and the lady. Then for a few seconds, there was a word on the bottom of the picture, 'TSARINA' and the lady was wearing a Russian winter hat, lined with white fur. Then the picture turned back to normal, the lady not wearing any hat, just long brown hair and the word on the bottom disappeared.
Then I was preparing spaghetti for Heather. Then I was cutting up some romaine lettuce being careful not to lose any.
Then I was in a house. A Russian guy was there. I said the word "Yegelney." to him. I presumed it meant "I forgot" in Polish. Then we walked into the next room. I said, "Da." to him which means Yes in Russian. I told him of how I was learning Polish and that Russian and Polish were similar languages.
Then the lady appeared again. Me and her were leaning against a wall.
I thought of Vronsky from War and Peace.
Then I saw the lady and the Russian man outside of a window. They were running towards a train station. I instantly joined them and the three of us were running there.
In the train station tunnel, I entered from the right, an opening that led outside was to my left, I thought that I should read War and Peace. It's like a television show but in this story, the guy gets shot in the end of the story the rest of the story tells of his life leading up to that.
First of all, I think Vronsky was a character in Anna Karenina, not War and Peace. Secondly, I'm pretty sure Yegelney doesn't mean I forgot in Polish. And third of all, like fuck I'm going to read War and Peace. Addiction to YouTube videos and apps has cut down my attention span and patience to read. I haven't read a book cover to cover in years although I used to read quite a few. However I never read a book the length of War and Peace which is a book so much as it is a tome. It'd be like reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy of books. Too much. Weird dream for sure. I'll be having weird dreams for the rest of my life. This much is guaranteed.
Sunday, September 4, 2022
I went to a small town.
Then I went to a Van Halen concert in that town. A Police Officer lectured me and kicked me out of the concert.
Then again for the second time I went to a Van Halen concert in that town. When the concert was over, the stands were empty. There was the stage with the band members standing there. Then there were the empty seats and there was a barrier with an opening at the aisles so people could walk through the aisles. Then more empty seats. Sitting at one of the empty seats behind the barrier was Eddie Van Halen. He seemed so alive in the dream that I forgot he died. I was going over to talk to him when the same Police Officer appeared and kicked me out of the building and I was outside. The thing is, he was the same Police Officer in the James Bond movies Live and Let Die and The Man with the Golden Gun when he was with Roger Moore James Bond in Thailand; Sheriff JW Pepper, George Clifton James who died in 2017. Then the dream ended with me sitting outside of the concert hall on a sunny day.
The Police Officer didn't want me to talk to Eddie Van Halen because he was behind the barrier which meant that he was dead. The band members on stage were all alive and on the other side of the barrier. David Lee Roth, Alex Van Halen, Michael Anthony and Sammy Hagar. There were 4 members on the stage and they were all young in the dream with long hair, skinny and wearing spectral looking torn clothing that heavy metal band members like to wear. I didn't sense that Eddie Van Halen's son Wolfgang was on the stage in the dream. He could have been. I didn't get a good look.
Tuesday, September 6, 2022
I had a big screen TV covered with glass. For some reason I threw three small stones into it, hard. The glass on the television cracked into spiderweb shaped cracks.
Hypnagogic vision upon near waking. I saw Princess Kate walk from the left to the right, one end of the room to another. She was wearing a new white patterned gown.
Wednesday, September 7, 2022
I was with friends from Dawson Creek. My friend Charles had given me these plastic paper squeeze bottles of dark brown liquid heroin. I was addicted. I was sitting in a restaurant with Charles daughter Jan and I was drinking these liquid bottles of heroin again. I saw my father in that restaurant.
Then I had two guinea pigs. A large long black male guinea pig and a small female guinea pig. I was taking them for a walk. We walked into a large pet store with a single central space where the cashier was. The space was shaped like a large wooden rectangle with a space in the center for the cashiers. The wooden rectangle had items, supplies, food etc for pets.
Then I was in a old style hotel room in Germany with windows that looked to the outside and some buildings downtown. In the room was Walter Becker of Steely Dan. He died. In the dream he was walking from left to right wearing a green sweater and he was strumming on an old style guitar with a round bottom.
Outside the hotel on the sidewalk, my friend Charles wearing a white shirt and dark brown suspenders appearing young in the dream removed his bike from a row of bikes at a bike parking space and was going to wheel down a street in Germany like a young hippie traveler.
Then I had a distinct Royal hypnagogic vision. Queen Elizabeth as old and standing to the left wearing a purple blazer and matching skirt and hat too. Prince Philip was to her right. Then he walked from left to right. He was wearing a dark green Scottish style cap and Scottish beret too with red and white checkers pattern lining the bottom of the beret. He walked a few steps and then he stopped and smiled. He had a crescent shaped mouth and white square perfect teeth.
Prince Philip was the Duke of Edinburgh which would explain the Scottish clothing.
I was sort of planning to go to Vancouver today. Had I went, I wouldn't have had this Royal dream.
The dream was saying, It's all right that you decided not to go today. There will be other days. Don't be so hard on yourself for not going. Don't be so hard on yourself in general.
I already think I'm crazy. I really do like and don't like talking about my Royal dreams. Do like because the Royal dreams are comforting and tell me that I must be kind of important or valued if I'm having them. Don't like because telling them, people would automatically assume I'm lying or else attempting to social climb and that I'm crazy which I already think that my life is crazy enough.
The Police often say, "Tell us what you think you saw. And include all details even if you think they are unimportant."
Thursday, September 8, 2022
I met Harrison Ford and we were talking about Indiana Jones and Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I crossed a very small river and stepped on two floating Egyptian mummies sarcophaguses as a bridge. I told Harrison Ford about this and told him that the two floating Egyptian things resembled two golden angels. The topic of angels appeared in my dream if only as a discussion.
Then I went to some other place. There was a small plastic tube like a Freezee that we, me and the people there were supposed to blow into to test for Covid. Inside the plastic tube was blue water. Blowing into it made bubbles which would determine the presence of Covid.
In real life, at Shoppers Drug Mart, covid tests are available for free which I obtained one for myself. Inside are two types of tests. One is a nose swab that one swabs just inside their nose. The other one is also a nose swab that one is supposed to swab five inches deep. The instructions said to imagine a line running between one ear and another. The thing is to swab the thing that deep. I think that can cause brain damage. I won't be doing that!
Dreams are crazy aren't they?
Saturday, September 10, 2022
I'm not sure. A quick hypnangogic vision while half asleep and half waking up. It is very specific so I'll advance it.
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip to her left getting into a black coach pulled by two dark brown horses. Reins led from the coach to the horses. Queen Elizabeth was wearing a purple pastel Royal business suit complete with matching hat. Prince Philip wore a top hat and a flowing cape split halfway up the back and on the cape was a round gold laurel with ER II written on it.
Whenever I see a Royal thing in my dream, I flinch a little, as if saying, "I record my dreams on a blog. If I record this, people will think I'm crazy or making it up. I don't want to get in trouble."
To get in trouble with the Royals is to get in trouble with the Police. The Royals and the Police are connected.
So far I haven't gotten into any trouble. Yesterday an interviewer on an interview on a YouTube video said something along the lines of, "You remember Queen Elizabeth. She's been in your life so long that you probably had dreams about her."
Sunday, September 11, 2022
A major dream about Prince William. Long. Vivid. Some of it forgotten. This is what I remember.
At a speech at city hall. Up a small hill leading to a gate at night, a crowd of people. On the podium was Prince William wearing a red jacket. He was giving a speech.
Then I decided to follow him. There was a view of the downtown Eastside looking East from the Southwest corner of the street on Hastings and Carrall.
I thought of England. I sensed that I am very loved.
Then I saw a table and there were some middle aged Native ladies sitting there. They were wearing robes. On their feet they all had white woolen slippers. I saw the slightly carved texture of the white knitted wool.
Then Prince William was in a house. Strange. At one point Prince William was in the washroom. The door was open. I walked past but looked away. I wouldn't look at that at all. Just not my style!
Then Prince William was almost done putting his pants on. There was a guy standing on his left wearing a blue sweater. He was almost finished getting dressed as well.
Then I was able to sit next to and talk to Prince William. He was seated to my left.
I said, "I would like to move to England."
He said, "You can send me a letter at Windsor Castle.* I'll send you the forms. Write down what you do as an occupation."
I said, "I have no occupation."
He said, "Even if you work at Church as an altar boy."
Strange. I looked in his nose. his head was hollow and I saw his eyes. It was his eyes behind the hollow. Very weird.
As I sat with him, I didn't notice that he had left. I said, "Thank you Sir." Then I looked. It wasn't him. It was Emma Watson or Hermione from the Harry Potter movies.
The thing is, I felt very loved and loved from England and from Royalty as well.
Then I woke up. I remembered that Queen Elizabeth is dead. The nervousness and slight fear was there.
I clicked on to a YouTube video about Prince William, Prince Harry Prince William Reunite & Meghan Markle Greets Fans at Windsor Castle from US Weekly. The video mentioned Windsor Castle! Which reminded me of the dream.
Then on YouTube, I saw the live stream of Queen Elizabeth's coffin being brought from point A to point B. Life is just one gut punch after another.
Dreams present one reality. Reality presents another. I don't know if I want to move to England. I don't know if I'm loved in England. British people are unfathomable and a lot of them are very offstandish, stuck up, circumscribed, regimented. And the Royal Family doesn't even know that I exist. The Royal Family meets a lot of people. I don't think that they remember everyone that they meet.
*I found out on Tuesday, September 13 that William the Conqueror was the King when Windsor Castle was constructed.
source: Lady Colin Campbell. OMENS/HARRY&MEGHANS plots etc. YouTube
Tuesday, September 13, 2022
I visited some people from India. They were Punjabi or else Sikh. It was a long dream much of it forgotten. I do remember at one point I visited them and I said, "Bol." which means 'speak'.
Afternoon nap.
Sigh, here we go again.
I dreamed of Queen Elizabeth. I was at my old high school Van Tech and in the dream I was told that Queen Elizabeth went to the Sam high school as me. So when I walked down the halls of that school, I walked down the same halls as Queen Elizabeth did.
Then I was at a park. There were two pot dealers. One I only glimpsed but he went away. The other pot dealer I gave $20 to and he thus then sold me a bit of pot. He said if I paid $100 or else $80 more I would get more pot and a better deal as pot deals aren't prorated. The more you pay, the better of a deal you get. I went to the ATM located at a wall monument in the park and withdrew $80 or else four $20 bills.
Then I paid the $80 and got a baggie full of pot.
Then I saw Queen Elizabeth in the park. She was sitting down, kneeling on the ground. She was a young 19 year old Queen Elizabeth. She was draped in a light purple sweater cape, or robe or cardigan. She was wearing a gold crown. Her left side was facing me and she was facing to the left.
I woke up feeling no fear. I felt light when I woke up. I felt as if I will always be watched over and protected.
Well, first of all, Queen Elizabeth indeed did not go to Van Tech high school. However her grandmother was referred to as Mary of Teck but not Mary of Tech.
Then I don't know why I get Royal dreams. I had been watching Royal documentaries on YouTube all day today. You probably think I'm making this up and I wouldn't blame you. There's no way to prove dreams as there is no way to prove the existence of heaven.
There is direct evidence, circumstantial evidence and hearsay evidence. The notion of the existence of heaven is based on hearsay evidence.
Based on yesterday's dream, I am seriously thinking of writing a letter to Prince William addressed to Windsor Castle. In the letter I will tell him of my dream and I will also tell him that I would possibly be interested in moving to England. And I will tell him of my occupation which is Churchgoer and also animated cartoonist and writer. I will also mention that I don't know how sure I am of wanting to move to England since I often suffer from fear and anxiety, most notably travel anxiety. I will also write that I have had countless Royal dreams. These letters rarely make it to the intended recipient. Letters to Royalty usually stop at the point of a secretary or else palace MI-5 security guard reading them.
MI-5 handles domestic affairs. MI-6 handles foreign or overseas affairs.
Since my letter would be arriving from overseas, its difficult to know which branch exactly would be reading it.
I'm not sure that I'll actually send the letter. It seems like a silly and trivial notion. Anyone who reads that letter will think that I'm a nut. It's only the spirits who know that I actually had lots of Royal dreams. One can draw a picture of the dreams but the actual dreams are for your eyes only.
I think that Royalty gets thousands of letters every year particularly now during such a momentous occasion. I doubt that any letter I send would actually be seen. Royalty is so busy that they have lots of things to do and probably wouldn't have time to read letters just as the really big YouTube stars don't have time to read each and every last comment they get on their videos. They might see a few off the top and then that's it.
I don't know if I want to move to England. I question my own wisdom regarding that. British people can be very diabolical. British people are generally unfathomable. I've met British people who were exasperatingly unfathomable to the point where I just don't want to know them.
George Mikes wrote a book, How To Be British and in that book he describes the British as generally unknowable and unfathomable. Although the book was written a few generations ago, not much has changed. Canadians can be diabolical but the British are on another level. I'm not sure that it's something I can handle.
In dreams, Royal figures can present themselves as very loving. In real life, catalyzing with the physics of this dimension, it can be very different. Royalty like any figures of power usually present themselves as Machiavellian and a bit mean and rough. They usually don't have a lot of time to talk to a lot of people. That's from experience.
That's part of the British culture in that they don't have time for more than a two minute conversation with most people. That's even so in Canada too especially at Church. It is rare to get more than a two minute conversation and that's normal. It's not like in the old generation before the internet, or even before television, people spent more time talking with one another.
Wednesday, September 14, 2022
On a scale of one to ten, this one is a twelve. After writing this, I will be expecting the men in long white coats and butterfly nets.
I was in Vancouver. I visited a friend who every time he breathed out, he breathed out a smoky hologram drawing of Euclid's Solar System which consisted of two ovals, a large yellow oval and a smaller violet colored oval on top of and to the left of the large yellow oval. These ovals were filled with calculus equations written in White.
We met a man and he was supposed to meet up with us again later.
Then I went back to visit the friend who breathed out Euclid's solar system. This time Queen Elizabeth was there in the same room too. She was old, about 93 and was wearing a pastel blue Royal business suit and matching purse and fascinator flower tower hat. The friend who breathed out the hologram lent that ability to me. I was able to do that once exactly as he had done it. Then I couldn't do it again. The friend who breathed out the hologram said it was a medical condition with him. He did it every time and couldn't stop. He felt a bit of health anxiety because of it.
Then we left. There was a dark pastel blue SUV under an open garage which was a wooden flat roof supported with four square wooden pillars. Queen Elizabeth said, "I have to get back to England to be on schedule. There is a schedule I am supposed to follow."
Then the man who was supposed to meet up with us showed up. He said that he was supposed to show up a little earlier but had to take a long cut around the block which was where he lived.
We got into the SUV. The front passenger seat was open but to my surprise I sat in the back next to Queen Elizabeth. She sat in the center and I sat to the right of her.
The SUV pulled up the slight hill leading to the main road. At the opening of this hill, there was a crowed of people all wearing matching blue hats similar to the one Queen Elizabeth was wearing.
This crowd of mainly women all saw me sitting with Queen Elizabeth. For a second I felt, I wouldn't say embarrassed or ashamed, more like self conscious that I was sitting next to Queen Elizabeth. I also then thought that I never thought that I'd feel self conscious sitting with Queen Elizabeth. That's the last person I should feel self conscious sitting next to.
The SUV turned left and headed down the road. Some ladies standing in the streets said, "She's dead, you know." referring to Queen Elizabeth. I don't know. At the moment she seemed so alive.
As the SUV drove on, Queen Elizabeth suddenly reached down and grabbed my crotch with her left hand. She then said, "Your yoong is soft." I then said, "That's what usually happens."
She then said, "No wonder you have difficulty meeting women." She then suddenly teleported to the back of the SUV. She wasn't wearing her blue Royal business suit jacket anymore but a dark blue dress that totally exposed the shoulders. She was wearing a long blue skirt too. She was barefoot.
I rubbed and massaged both of her feet briefly, first the right foot and then the left foot. As I was doing this, I heard Police sirens in the distance.
She then sat next to me to my left again. I remembered that I am into women who are old. I stroked her right shoulder then I kissed the back of her right arm near the shoulder and then I kissed the top of her right arm at the shoulder.
She then turned and looked at me and she leaned in and she kissed me right on the mouth. It was a soft yet pressing kiss. I felt large bee sting lips kissing on my lips.
Then the dream was over. It ended at the kiss.
Of course I woke up thinking that I'm crazy. I was wondering if I should keep this to myself. But I can't help writing about my dreams. This is my OCD.
This dream is so weird that I wouldn't be surprised if I was taken to the mental hospital because of this.
What does the dream mean? It might mean that I am more attractive to women than I realize.
I always thought that women are attractive to men, but men aren't really attractive to women much. Women are beautiful but men are kind of gross. I don't imagine that women are attracted to men very much. In this dream Queen Elizabeth was telling me that I am attractive to women. That's what I think.
I shouldn't be that surprised of this dream. I once had a dream where Queen Elizabeth was seated in a chair against a wall near an open door and two ladies in waiting, seated on either side of her. She asked me to take down my pants. She wanted to inspect my genitals.
I wouldn't and couldn't make this up. I realize that writing this, I run the risk of being sent to the mental institution.
How many people have had absolutely intensely crazy dreams about Royalty? Women probably have dreams of getting it on with Princes. Perhaps. I don't know.
The word that the Queen used, 'yoong'. I thought about the meaning. The Chinese name that my parents had given me is Wing in Cantonese which would be Yoong in Mandarin. Also, one of the Chinese Emperors was named Wing Lock in Cantonese, but Yoong Loe in Mandarin.
Why would I have dreams about Queen Elizabeth like this? I thought she was married to Prince Philip. Why would she want to do these things to me in my dreams? Why would she treat me this way in my dreams? Or is it that my mind is crazy crazy? Do I have to go to a mental hospital or what?
A couple of weeks later after having this dream, I saw the movie Sex Pot on Tubi. In one scene, one of the girls grabbed Mert's crotch in the same way as my crotch was grabbed in the dream. Sometimes life gives me confirmation of my dreams. Crazy.
I have had Royal dreams since 2003 which is the first Royal dream I can remember. I first had Royal dreams about the BRF in 2007 when I was in Dawson Creek. Perhaps I had Royal dreams about the BRF as a teenager too but I haven't recorded and don't remember any dreams I had when I was a teenager.
No one reads my dream blog anyways.
Robin Williams: "You know what the little people said?"
Jeff Bridges: "The little people?"
Robin Williams: "You know. They said you're The One."
Jeff Bridges: "The one what?"
Robin Williams: ... "They said you're not ready to know yet."
The Fisher King, movie
Earlier, I drew Queen Elizabeth in the SUV wearing the strapless dress wearing a tiara and a pearl necklace. I don't remember the tiara and pearl necklace in the dream but when I drew the picture, the picture of her didn't look right without the tiara and pearl necklace. I redrew the picture. I saw a sign somewhere that read, "A half truth is a whole lie." Anyways I had to redraw it accurate to what I saw in the dream even if I might think it doesn't look right.
Thursday, September 15, 2022
Did I have another Royal dream again? If you have a Royal dream for four nights in a row, is that a Royal flush?
I dreamed of Queen Elizabeth again. She was wearing a pink and white, the pink blended with the white like an airbrushed border Royal business suit with matching hat. She was at a hospital. I saw a hospital television monitor, one on top of another. I only saw the back of her. I didn't see her face in this dream.
So many Royal dreams. I talk about them and then you don't believe me. And then I get sent to the mental hospital. If I had so many normal dreams, that would be one thing.
Friday, September 16, 2022
I had a weird dream last night. A nebulous Royal dream consisting of two large blue dots. The purchasing and sticking in an oven and eating some spare ribs. I thought of Thailand. Then I saw my old Highschool friend JF whom I hadn't seen for decades. I visited his place and saw that his white porcelain toilets and two white porcelain sinks were very messy and stained. This dream scared me as I woke up and I thought, Great, another day of fear. Must I feel this damned fear for the rest of my life?!
Why do have more Royal dreams than I have dreams of my dead mother? For every dream I have of my dead mother, I have about a few hundred Royal dreams. What a strange ratio. It should be the other way around, I would think.
Saturday, September 17, 2022
I had a quick hypnagogic vision of Prince Harry wearing a blazer which had a certain pattern. I was so convinced of this that I took a picture of a picture of a person wearing this pattern on his jacket when I went on a trip to Vancouver on Thursday, September 22, 2022.
I went to UBC as a student. I put my scooter away in a cloakroom. Then I went to the class.
On the way to the class an old high school student I knew, Chinese Derek, who was wearing a black pea jacket gripped the back of my left arm. It felt massaging but also invasive. I swung my arm over and then back and gripped and then pushed his arm away. That's an aikido move. Dreams teach. Derek looked back at me, a bit concerned.
Then I went into class. It was a business education class. It was the first class of the day on the first day of the year. I saw a Chinese old lady I had seen somewhere before. She was one of the instructors but not in the class I was in.
In the picture above, the door next to the blackboard is the door to the cloak room where I put my scooter. I am pictured to the very left next to the window, the only guy wearing a blue sweatshirt.
The railings surround an opening on three sides. At the back of the class the opening has a set of stairs that leads one floor down. One floor down isn't a classroom but a vast expanse of a mall area.
Then I sat down. Someone Chinese from high school I don't remember was there. I fought with him punching him lightly in the face.
I asked, "What's my class after this?"
Someone said, "A coordinator will tell you."
Then the class started. The teacher put some calculus equations on the blackboard. I was thinking, I couldn't do this. Calculus is too difficult. I quit. I might not get the $100 an hour job but a lot of people who graduate don't get jobs.
I got up. A Chinese female student I also knew from high school was talking about the school she went to. She mentioned honey school and some acronyms of some schools she went to. I said, "UBC and acronyms. UBC and AIDS." But then I went up to her and said, "You will do AOK in UBC."
Then I was leaving. A few other students were with me. I said, "I can't do this. I'm quitting because of the calculus. I might not get the $100 an hour job but a lot of people who graduate don't get jobs. I could get a dishwashing job for $20 an hour and in a month and a half, I'd have enough money to travel. I could go to Thailand and the European tour, England and Poland."
I saw an old high school student. Gary who was Chinese. He was walking past me. He was wearing a white sweatshirt. I was going to ignore him, but I said, "Hey Gary." He smiled at me.
A little more walking and the dream was over.
My high school friends all appeared really young in the dream. About 18 or the first year of University. In real life, they are all old like me.
It was a blissful dream with some crazy elements. I woke up a bit scared as usual. I wonder how I'm going to handle my future. Often, I get anxiety about doing something, but I do it and it's usually smoother than I thought it would be.
I often think of moving back to Vancouver as this town is boring and thus a bit of a trap. I worry that I will be stuck in this hotel in this room for life. But I kind of don't want to move back to Vancouver. Certainly not back to the downtown eastside. I'd most like to live at a place near UBC, but those places are impossibly expensive. Difficult is one thing. Impossible is another. I have no options. Life is bleak and dismal and so is the future. Yet I have to honour life and thus honour God and to go on living.
I suppose that after awhile, even UBC could get repetitive. As is the case, what was once an escape eventually becomes a trap. The UBC campus is heavenly. Trail 3 is heavenly. Trail 6 is Wreck Beach and that place has some sleazy elements. Sleazy like the cartoon Fritz the Cat. Lots of drug use. The nudity is all right when it comes to the women. But there are lots of men who go naked there too which is offsetting. Not a priority. Wreck Beach has lots of drug use too and has had that for decades. I have sex anxiety now which I didn't have ten years ago. Seeing the naked women on Wreck Beach could either cure my sex anxiety or else exacerbate it. I'm running out of options. Afraid to live but also afraid to die too. Existence itself is a trap which is the essence of existentialism. Albert Camus and Jean Paul Sartre who were the masters of existentialism were pretty pessimistic melancholy and dour people.
Existence is a trap and one has no choice but to go through it. I wasn't this afraid before. My only hope is the zen saying, First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is. So before I felt no fear, now I feel fear, one day I won't feel fear again as first life seems normal, then it seems abnormal, then one day it will feel normal again.
Either way you win. The dream state, although crazy is blissful and with a lightness of being that has little to no anxiety. The waking life is one that includes listening to favourite music on a walkman or on YouTube videos. It is a time that I can play favorite apps on tablets. The waking life has the possibility of the bliss of nostalgia for certain places along with certain music.
Afternoon nap: On Douglas Street, as I was walking home to my apartment on a sunny afternoon I saw a lady from the library whom I thought was mean to me. In real life she is. In the dream, she was walking her dog, a mid sized golden tan dog. She was wearing a white dress. I avoided her at first but walked back to her and said, "Your dog is cute." She then asked me to talk to her more and she gave me a hug. I then went to some shower stalls on the street and had a shower but the shower water already drained.
Tuesday, September 20, 2022
Morning: A hypnagogic vision. I saw Prince William dressed in a dark blue sweater. He was standing on the street in the early morning light. Two motorcycles drove past on the road to Prince William's right and the road was on the left hand side of the 'screen' of my vision. It was a curved road. Then a large silver tourist passenger bus appeared on that road. The right hand side passenger door of that bus was open. The bus had lights inside. I tried to dismiss this as another crazy vision. But this is distinctly what I saw.
I had another dream that night but for some reason totally forgot it because I wanted to forget it. My dreams are crazy and scare me. I write down the dreams that I can't forget.
Afternoon nap:
I dreamed that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle visited me. Me and Prince Harry played chess. He took so long on some of the moves. On this one move near the end of the game, he took so long to make the next move, what seemed like hours. He was winning anyways and was going to checkmate me. I was so impatient that I picked up and flipped the chessboard. Pieces fell all over the floor.
In the dream I remembered reading somewhere last year that I was going to host a Prince but I didn't believe it at the time. I thought if British people are this unfathomable, taking so long at a chess move, and this was Prince Harry, I wondered how unfathomable Prince William would be.
Prince Harry and Meghan were going to go out. I was left to take care of their van.
Prince Harry and Meghan left for awhile. I drove the van forward and then backwards to park it on the road. It was night time. The van had a quick response on the gas peddle. I had to struggle to drive it well. I parked it but there was a radio dial which I looked at. I turned the dial. The plastic cover of the dial slipped off. Just as I was trying to replace it, Prince Harry returned and he sat beside me in the passenger side of the front of the van. He sat to my right. Meghan Markle sat directly behind me.
Prince Harry said he wanted to talk about how I was so impatient and flipped the chessboard. I said, "If you want to have me execute, you can. My life is going nowhere anyways." Prince Harry smiled and said softly, "It's allright. It's nothing like that."
I said something to Meghan Markle, such as where are you going, but she ignored me. She sensed that I didn't really like her.
We all drove to a place that belonged to a friend of Meghan Markle. This person was a psychic. As we left the van to the place, there were a couple of children with us. For some weird reason, weird dream, Meghan Markle gave the children the middle finger in a playful way.
Then we met the psychic. I sat on a long rattan couch with an oval or else rectangular table between us and another long rattan couch on the other side. Meghan and the psychic were standing to my right. Then Meghan sat down. The psychic said to me, "You are going to have a daughter one day." I said, "I'm 52. Too old." The psychic repeated, "You are going to have a daughter one day."
Meghan Markle moved and sat on the couch directly in front of me.
I said, "I hope its' not through in vitro. I hope its' through the natural method." I smiled slyly. The psychic said, "It would be through the natural method." I smiled even more. Meghan Markle was looking right at me and she smiled at me a slight sly smile. I noticed the psychic held a black book that had his name written on it in white letters, 'Ailene'. The A in Ailene looked sort of like the Eiffel Tower.
There were two large fluffy white cats. I petted one. The other one was across on the other couch. I made a playful motion with my fingers towards the other cat. The psychic said, "That calms the cat down." Then the other cat walked towards me approaching me from the right hand side. It lay down on top of the other cat I was petting. Then Prince Harry sat next to Meghan Markle, to her left.
I did have this dream. You don't have to believe me. I know what I saw. Now I'm convinced that I'm crazy.
I felt a bit peaceful when I woke up after having this dream. Then slightly scared as I'm convinced that my life is crazy. I wonder how I'm going to handle the next 20 years of my life.
Why do I have such specific Royal dreams all the time? I watch videos of Royalty on YouTube. I would think that any Royal dreams would resemble the YouTube videos and that they wouldn't be so specific.
If there is any hidden tech that can observe how fast I'm typing, it's fast. All these details. If I was making it up I wouldn't be typing this fast.
I'm a Royal dream machine. So many Royal dreams. You must think I'm crazy. That's OK, I think I'm crazy.
This dream is inconsistent with reality in so many ways. First of all, what are the chances I would ever meet Royal Prince's like William and Harry. Then what are the chances I'd have a daughter? I'm on welfare. I can't afford anything like that. I'm supposed to have a daughter at an age when most people's daughters grew up and left the nest? Dreams are a kind of Freudian wish fulfillment.
On that note, Prince Charles is supposed to be King, a very intellectually rigorous and demanding job at an age where most people already retired ten years before. King Charles is 75, people retire at 65.
Wednesday, September 21, 2022
I don't know if I should mention the Royal dream I think I saw. I'll describe it, but you'll think I'm crazy. I'll think I'm crazy. Life is crazy enough as it is.
I saw Queen Elizabeth. She was outside looking into the large windows of a very modern building. Then she was outdoors. I was seeing only the back of her from then on.She was middle age with brown curly hair. She wasn't wearing a hat or a crown as she often does. She appeared short in height. She was wearing a patterned orange and white and yellow shirt. She was walking down a street during the day. The sidewalk had cobblestones and there were trees a short distance away.
Then the next dream, I dreamed that I smoked some pot and went walking. I saw a lady wearing a blue sweater very loosely knitted. I could see her nipples. I kissed her on the shoulder.
Then I walked to my old school. Strathcona. I was drawing pictures but also walking with some school teachers. There were 4 older ladies and a tall middle aged man. I kissed one of the ladies on the shoulder.
Then I left the school and came back. I went to a room and started drawing pictures in a sketchbook and I was seated at a table. Then one of the ladies sat at a desk behind me and said, "You're a pain in the ass." I knew what she was referring to, that I was visiting the school all the time and kissing one of the ladies on the shoulder. I said, "I won't come here anymore then." Then I thought, I owed you an apology. I said to two of the ladies who were in the room, "I apologize for this. I won't bother you anymore." Then I wanted to apologize to the male teacher but couldn't find him. I thought, "This is bad but at least they didn't call the Police outright. And they weren't screaming angrily at me." I flipped through the sketchbook I was drawing in. One of the pictures was of three large Royal Egyptian statues sitting against a cliff, the ones at Karnak in the movie Death On The Nile starring Gal Gadot.
I left the room, saying, "Goodnight." to one of the ladies.
I then went into the room again to see if there was anyone else I could apologize to that I missed.
The lady that I said goodnight to was laughing and saying to another lady. "When he said goodnight, I was thinking we were going to go to bed."
I left. I was outside. The school looked ruined. It was crumbling and blackened in places and with rainwater dripping down. I went into a hallway. I saw a middle aged balding fat teacher. He seemed not to know or care what had happened to me.
Then I went into the old library. It was empty, hollowed out, with a platform with railings along the four walls of that large room. I put my Nike shoes down. Then I thought, "I need to wear those shoes." There were a lot of other Nikes already there. As I was looking for them, an old gym teacher said, "There was once a man who went to the beach but he was attacked by a shark." I finally found my Nikes. I reflected, "I smoked pot this morning yet I'm still high now." I walked down the stairs.
Then I walked away looking at the school. The school looked ruined. I thought something really weird, I thought, "If the school building in it's current state, the movie would be like the Exorcist with Linda Blair starring as itself, the school building." Then the dream was over.
The workload just piles up. It takes over an hour to draw a dream picture. Too many pictures to draw and then the night comes and there is yet another dream. I can't keep up with the amount of pictures to draw vs the amount of dreams I have. There are lots of pictures I would like to draw. I'll try my best. But then what's the use. This all goes to Google as Google partially owns whatever you send them. This is a gold mine. Too bad I don't make any money out of it. Google can make a book of this and sell it. Especially after I die, Google will make a lot of money out of this. That's the bane of being an artist. Van Gogh, Emily Carr, didn't make a lot of money when they were alive. After they died, their paintings sold for millions. Very few artists are like Banksy who are able to be rich from their art in their own time.
I didn't make back up files to any of this. If there is some major computer glitch, all my blogs would be wiped out. However, there is no reliable way to store information. Store it on a portable flash drive. That flash drive could go missing or get stolen. Store it on paper or write it in a book. Soon, there is too much paper to carry when I move to another place. Papers often get misplaced. I had a dream diary that I wrote in years ago in a notebook. I left that notebook in Dawson Creek when I left a lot of things behing thinking that I'd go back to Dawson Creek in two weeks. I never went back. I went on a staycation ever since and have been on one ever since. Therefore I left a lot of things in Dawson Creek that I would have taken with me if I moved. I left behind two Polo Ralph Lauren jackets, nice ones too. I left behind at least two dream journals and diaries in general. I left behind a Little Nemo Winsor McCay book which I bought on Amazon for $175. That book now sells on Amazon for $1,000. I left behind my coin collection, mostly worthless but I did have a 1991 quarter that was worth $20 at the time.
That's life. One time Richard Branson lived in a house that later burned down. He was staying with Kate Winslet at the time. That house had a lot of valuable things. Don't care too much about material possessions. They often get lost over the course of a lifetime.
Saturday, September 24, 2022
I saw zombies like in The Walking Dead. Then there was a big Oriental guy wearing a white long sleeve shirt with collar and buttons. He seemed friendly but he took a bite out of one of the zombies arms.
Then I went to a vending machine. I put one quarter in but the place where the item is dispensed dispensed lots and lots of quarters. I scooped up a large handful of the quarters with my right hand and out it in my right hand jacket pocket. There was a young guy to my left. I said that he could get some quarters too if he wanted.
Coins are an angel sign. White feathers are also an angel sign.
Monday, September 26, 2022
Part of a longer dream now much forgotten but it did involve me making out with quite a few women simultaneously. One part I do remember is Suzie sitting on my lap and giving me a quick kiss.
I don't plan on seeing Suzie anymore. If I were to move back to Vancouver, I wouldn't miss Suzie. That day I spent in Vancouver last week at UBC and also Trail 3 of Wreck Beach, I felt a hundred times happier and uplifted than I ever did with Suzie. Follow your heart, it knows the way. I really want to move back to Vancouver. I'm still deciding. Something tells me a year or two after I move back to Vancouver, I'll really miss Victoria. Not all who wander are lost. I'll miss Victoria because those days brought me safely through from one end to the other. I don't know about these days here though. I might die here. That's psychological. I probably won't die.
The friendship with Suzie, I didn't like the terms or the trappings of that friendship. See her for one minute and talk to her for one minute. Then walk her to her car, which I didn't have to do, that was totally voluntary on my part and then watch her drive away in her nice sportscar while I'm standing on the curb. Then she has a friend Carol who very often, when I'm asking Suzie a question, Carol answers the question. She does that a lot. When I talk to Suzie, Carol always always all of a sudden zooms in and stands next to Suzie. Bad scene. No wonder I feel better in Vancouver.
And walking her to her car when I know that she knows that I know that Suzie isn't interested in anything other than the most casual of friendships. And I know that I don't really want Suzie as a girlfriend. So to walk her to her car every week, week in week out is something I would only do for a serious girlfriend. My time and energy is precious.
I once asked her for a ride in her car. I've always wondered about that particular brand name of car. But two years later she hasn't given me a ride. Most people you ask them for a ride and you get it pretty quickly, within a week or even on the same day. To wait two years is ridiculous. And come to think of it, it's something I should have never asked for anyways. It's like asking someone to lend you $10 each and every single time you see them, even if you are going to return it, asking is a faux pas.
It got to the point of 'Play stupid games, Win stupid prizes'. The whole thing is all played out and leads nowhere. Ad nil. To nothing. I hope to never see Suzie ever again. She owes me nothing and I owe her nothing. The whole thing is just a bad scene. And Suzie isn't an intellectual. I had actual intellectual friends in Vancouver who were very hyperspecific and would quote scientists or authors often. Suzie never does that. A lot of people say they have University degrees but when you talk to them, they don't sound that intellectual.
I wish Suzie all the best. I have not one bit of anger towards her. It was good that I was with her when I was and it's good that I decided not to see her anymore. I will always wish Suzie the best and that she has a good future. Just that it's a future without me, that's all.
Why did I have that dream about her, who I decided not to see again? Why do the forces of life do that to me? Why does my brain do that to me? Damn it! My brain works bizarrely.
So later on during this day, I watched a movie about a guy who gets it on with several women simultaneously. The movie is called Sex Pot, available on Tubi. These are really young stars and I see some of them being action stars or being in a Star Wars movie in the future. One scene of this movie had a young child, and he was yelling, "Where are my goddamned friends?! Where are my goddamned presents?!" The scene made me laugh involuntarily because he was so young and talking like that. I would not take the Lords's name in vain ever again in my life. I always thank God for the gift of life. I have a reverential fear of God. But why does Hollywood make scripts where actors are often taking the Lord's name in vain? What example does that set to the movie viewing public?
Tuesday, September 27, 2022
I saw this suburb like it was a large screen in a movie theatre. Someone said, "This has the original version of Tron." It was the suburbs at night and the houses did look very 1980s.
Then I was in the downtown eastside during the day. I bought a square canister with a round pop open lid. It was a white canister of Orange flavored coffee. I stashed it somewhere. I planned to give the canister as a present to the Police Chief who usually is in a Police car parked on a certain place on the street every morning. But someone stole the canister. I found the canister sometime afterwards, but half of the coffee grounds or coffee powder was spilled out and replaced with cigarette buts.
Wednesday, September 28, 2022
I moved to White Rock although I missed Vancouver. In the dream I thought that the name White Rock which reminded me of a carved white palanquin which I rode in, a Royal reference.
I went to a car but the door was locked. I was locked in the car temporarily.
Then I was playing catch with some people in an alley using a green tennis ball.
More to the dream but I forgot.
Thursday, September 29, 2022
I spent $800 and bought a one way ticket to Thailand. On the day of the departure, I looked down out of a window and saw a line up of people going on the plane to Thailand. I decided not to go because of the visa runs and overstays, etc. I was out $800.
I was driving down the street. I saw a city hired street cleaner using a large lawn mower mowing the lawns on the islands in the middle of the streets. The lawn mower went out of control and moved forward then U-turned back on the city street cleaner. He stopped and cringed but the lawn mower stopped before it hit the street cleaner. I drove past him and said to him, "That was close!"
Then I found a long broomstick on the street. I did a few moves including the butterfly pirouette.
Then I went into a hangar. There were ladies on the PA system speaking Mandarin Chinese. I mimicked them speaking a garbage form of imitation Mandarin. The ladies said, "That guy knows Mandarin!" referring to me. Then they said, "That's just elevator Mandarin." meaning that it was garbage imitation Mandarin.
