Sunday, January 1, 2023
I had a quick fleeting vision of Prince William and Princess Kate. They were standing at two podiums. Prince William was standing to Princess Kate's right. He was wearing a light grey blazer. Princess Kate was wearing a purple dress.
A couple weeks ago I saw a quick vision of Queen Elizabeth. She appeared old and was wearing a fuschia royal business suit and hat. She was standing at a podium.
You probably don't believe it. I don't know if I do. I'll just write what I think I saw. The spirits and the universe knows that I'm telling the truth.
Monday, January 2, 2023
In a basement of an underground parking lot, there is a concert. But the band is fake. There is a mother and two boys, one about 7 and the other is about 11 years old. I lend the older one my earbuds. I still have other headphones which crank out good bass.
Afterwards the earbuds are returned to me but the Grey plastic part which goes into the ears is missing. The mother and the two boys go into the parking lot to get nto their car and about to drive away. I look on the ground for the earbud ends but couldn't find them. I hear the car motor starting in the distance. I go to the light green door between the basement and the parking lot. I ask someone there named Tuti to open the door. The mother and the two boys are gone. I was angry. I wanted to lecture the older boy about breaking my earbuds. Do not cast pearls before swine.
Then I wake up in fear. Remembering the craziness of the dream. The dream felt comfortable when I had it, but the detail about my broken earbud was disturbing. Then I remembered seeing Heather in the hospital and even now not knowing what will happen. If she dies, that's very scary. If she doesn't, then I will have to be working for her for life. Even now, visiting her at the hospital is a kind of work. Even though I love her, this lady is a trap and my love for her is part of the trap.
Very quick fleeting vision of President Bill Clinton. He was wearing a light grey suit. You probably don't believe me. I don't know if I believe it.
Afternoon nap. I visited my cousinWong's place. The dream mentioned the World War 2 guy but I really don't want to get into that. Too scary. Too offensive.
Wong means Emperor or King in Chinese.
Tuesday, January 3, 2023
I was visiting and old friend John from high school. His father was there too. His father was wearing a white shirt with black tie and he was also wearing a black vest. He was sitting on a chair with its back to the staircase. There was a knock on the door.
It was a cowboy wearing a red cape with his wife and two small daughters. The cowboy and his wife who was blonde, had long hair and wearing a white dress was standing on the path that led to the front door. The two daughters both blonde and wearing white were standing further back behind the gates. He asked me if I wanted to go with him and take part in a survey about pronography. I remembered my low libido and sex anxiety so I said no.
John's father asked me about that. I said "It was a cowboy who wanted to know if I wanted to take part in a survey about pronography. I said no."
He asked why I said no. I said, "Because he was only there with his wife and two young daughters. There didn't seem that there was a chance I'd meet any women."
I was then in Vancouver with Heather at a fair. We passed an agriculture display which was a long narrow hallway with a black lady spinning some yarn at the back of the hallway. On the left side of the hallway, was some cows. Then I saw what I somehow knew to be artificial bees. A lot of them flying around the cows. Bees is a royal animal.
Then I was walking with John at that fair. A lady had some octagonal laser discs. One of them had the title Hot Ink and the illustration on it was a photograph of a lady's rear end wearing tight pink shorts. He wanted the disc and wanted to get it. I reflected that I didn't have any money and should have brought some money with me before coming to Vancouver.
End of dream.
During the dream I forgot because he was there in the dream, but when I woke up, I remembered that John's father is dead! He died last year. Yet his presence in the dream was comforting. He had a very gentle vibe in the dream.
My love for Heather scares me. I'm chained to her and have and will bend over backwards to help her.
"I knew a man from my hometown, He wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown. He said Delores, I live in fear. My love for you's so overpowering, I'm afraid I will disappear." Paul Simon, Slip Slidin Away
This describes me with Heather. She asked me to visit her tomorrow even though she's supposedly being discharged on Friday. That's two days in a row. So in a week, I will have visited the hospital 4 times.
I guess I'll do it. I don't have anything else to do. But it's a hassle and a short visit. Heather often doesn't have much to say. If I feel exhausted tomorrow or unwell, I won't go. I'm glad she's well though.
"God only knows, God makes his plan, The information's unavailable to the mortal man. We work our jobs, Collect our pay. Believe we're going down the highway When we're slip slidin' away."
Paul Simon, Slip Slidin Away
The relentless march of time.
Wednesday, January 4, 2023
"Here comes another avalanche of bullshit." Fight Club
I was writing the words with my fingers on a glass TV screen that was off. I wrote the words, "Intrusive thoughts." The words I wrote could then be seen on the television screen.
I saw my father in my dream. He was sitting with me. We talked about it being a good idea to go to strip clubs. I then asked him about Bruce Lee and nunchucks. I asked him about nunchuk competitions. He said that in nunchuck competitions, they follow the Russian rules about not being allowed to choke anyone with nunchucks. I remembered that Bruce Lee movie, I remembered at the time that Bruce Lee merely flicked the nunchuck at someone knocking him out but in the movie, he actually choked his adversary with the nunchucks.
I went to another place. A dim room. Lots of people there. Someone said the words high and tight. I said, "That reminds me of my last girlfriend."
Dreams in their oddness and randomness register as bullshit. Dreams are an avalanche of bullshit. In real life, my father never showed even the slightest interest in nunchucks. Strange that he talked about them in the dream. Dreams are so strange that they scare me. And I also don't know if my father is still alive. He'd be in his 80s. The last time I saw him was in early 2003. He must look shockingly different now if he is alive.
Thursday, January 5, 2023
I was with a lady. She had some grains of what looked to be like white salt. She said it was called GBA or synthetic marijauana. For some delinquent reason I asked if I could have some. She gave me some on a white paper napkin, a lot of little grains and one big grain. The napkin got wet and so did the little salt crystals. I licked the napkin. It tasted good. The big grain was still there.
I went to a cannabis shop. I asked if they had GBA. They sold exotic cannabis including some cannabis powder hard pressed into shapes and I asked for a bottle of these cannabis powder shapes that had the shape of a bunch of ginger. I saw the proprietor there. I looked away. I didn't want him to see me.
I was then in Vancouver again. I could walk and I thought I was in Vancouver on maximum overdrive. This was at night. I looked to a bus passing to the left of me. The passengers inside looked hazy. I walked because I had to get back to the hotel where I was staying which was in the downtown eastside.
Another cracking weird batshit crazy dream. I guess I'm going to have these crazy shut dreams for life. I'm not looking forward to the future. I think my future will be lousy and boring. I'm afraid that after death I will be going to and then stuck in this weird dream world forever. In dreams I've seen the spirits of those who have died. Which makes me think that they're stuck in that dreamworld too. Or maybe the dreamworld is a mutual common meeting place that the spirits of the dead have come to visit me and after the dream we go out separate ways away from the dreamworld as I go back to earthly waking life and the spirits of the dead go back to their higher heaven where they came from.
Drugs are illegal. I don't use drugs. A lot of people reach an age where drugs are no longer fun. Some don't reach that age and still do drugs into their 90s like Willie Nelson. Possession of drugs is illegal but what about having dreams about drugs? Dreams are involuntary. I get nervous writing about my dreams about drugs. The Police might say, why do you often have dreams about drugs? It perhaps comes from living in a neighborhood with a highly saturated drug culture. The Police themselves might occasionally have dreams about drugs.
Friday, January 6, 2023
I went to a small French restaurant. They served me two sandwiches. I wanted to put lots of mayonnaise in those sandwiches.
Saturday, January 7, 2023
Night time. I was in an old dining room with no lights on. There was a large table with all kinds of wine glasses and sishes and flowers and settings on it.
I saw something about an old King, King George 5. He was wearing a black top hat and black tuxedo. There was something written in white letters on a black piece of paper. It said Bowden Town.
Then a young Queen Elizabeth wearing a strapless blue dress. She was in a hurry and there was a promotion.
Then I was in Vancouver. It was day time. I was staying at some friends house. Then I was at UBC. I went into a room that was actually a swimming pool. I went into the pool to the bottom of the water. There were a lot of other students there. I made a few martial arts moves, some punches and kicks. I raised my legs one at a time and leaned the back of my ankles on a five foot high grey metal cabinet in front of me. I could do the splits standing up! This is only possible for me in the dream world. I can't do this in waking life. The sides of the pool had glass where I could look outside and see other students. There was a bookshelf in the pool. A gay professor walked past me. He was wearing a brown suit.
I got out of the pool. There were three students crouched down near an escalator that was going up. I jumped and pirouetted over the students.
Then I was outside. I thought UBC was heavenly. My friends from the house appeared. They were Chinese. They asked if I wanted to go to a Chinese restaurant. I hesitated because I wanted to stay at UBC since UBC is so heavenly. I finally agreed. Some young Chinese lady students showed up.
Then I saw a lawn with had eggplants but also large clumps of excrement as well. Anyways, Vancouver is heavenly but you have to live in another town for awhile to really appreciate how heavenly Vancouver is.
Then I sensed that I was in the States. This was at night. I couldn't stay because I wasn't an American citizen. What could I do to stay in the States, I thought. Marry an American was the answer.
Needless to say it was a strange and slightly scary dream. I am consigned to have bizarre and edgy dreams for life. The gay professor was scary. Gay people scare me a little bit. It's important when talking about dreams to admit all I can remember even if it is scary. Nobody else that I know of writes about their dreams to the public all the time. It's my oppressive and compulsive chore. It's my rock of Sisyphus.
Vancouver is heavenly. The Vancouver Museum, UBC. I hope that I can move back to Vancouver one day. I hope to not live in the downtown eastside. I hope to love in Kitsilano or near UBC but it seems like an impossible dream. It would be an absolute miracle if that ever happens. I wonder if God can grant this prayer wish for me. All towns seem heavenly once you leave it for awhile. If I ever move back to Vancouver, I'm sure I'll miss Victoria and think that Victoria is heavenly particularly Holland Point Park, The Beckley Manor, James Bay.
Sunday, January 8, 2023
I was late for Church. I went there and the Church service was over but there were a lot of ladies who were friendly to me. Very friendly. I saw an old lady sitting in a pew who I thought was a fat child but she turned out to be an old grandmother.
Then I went into the bathroom with one of the ladies. I looked into the toilet and there were large brown clumps of excrement. Gross. Then I turned away and the lady showed her beasts and hugged me.
Another weird offering from the weird dream world. What do dreams mean? I often think the government is secretly reading this dream journal of mine and has at least one dream expert to interpret these dreams. Dreams often show the deepest wishes and also fears of the subconscious. It's the subconscious trying to make sense of the world. Edgar Cayce said that dreams show the forces behind life. If dreams are the wishes and fears of the subconscious, why is the architecture and furniture interior design of rooms so specific and detailed?
Today, during an early evening nap, I had a dream of visiting Vancouver. It was beautiful. The most beautiful Vancouver dream I had ever had. I was walking down the summer daytime streets of Vancouver. I saw beautiful modern buildings and even said, "This is heavenly Vancouver!" Heather was with me. I said to her, "One day when you move to London, I will move to Vancouver."
Monday, January 9, 2023
Long dream but most of it forgotten although at the time I was sure I'd remember it. The part I do remember is quite freaky.
A Japanese Samurai wearing a white robe walks into a medieval Japanese town. He meets a lot of people including a group of ladies. Two of these were fat ladies but quite cute and they fought with each other. Like how you just know things in dreams, these fat ladies were always play fighting and bickering with each other but it was a turn on because you just knew that they were very sexual. The Japanese man saw them and knew they would be ready for a fling.
This Japanese man meets another Samurai. They were rivals or enemies of each other. Finally they face off with swords. There is a short speech about revenge and vengeance. Then they go at it with swords making a few quick strokes.
Then cut away to a scene where the two men had beheaded each other. There heads were each on a tree stump in the village. It seems that they had simultaneously struck and simultaneously cut off each other's head with their swords. Even though they were beheaded, they could still see and talk. The original man who walked into the village said, "Our heads will be on display overnight in a hut. Anyone could come and talk to us about what you think of this." His face was now black as if someone had smeared charcoal all over his face. Freaky. Somehow their heads would still be aware and able to talk for just one night. The next morning the life force would have gone from them.
The two sexual flirtatious fat ladies were there and still slapping each other playfully. The head of the man who first walked into the village saw them and knew that for sure these two women would have had good sex with him and now that he is beheaded, he misses out. This brought him a lot of bad feelings.
Another freaky dream that I had to wake up from. There was more to the dream. I think there was one scene when I was on a ship from the early 1900s but I'm not sure, only 5% sure.
Tuesday, January 10, 2023
Staying over at Heather's, I had this dream:
I was in Calgary Alberta with my father. He was driving me in a car into Calgary. It was a sunny day. He knew his way around and we arrived at a tall brick building I recognized to be the apartment of the place we all, the family, once stayed in the 70s. My father knew his way around town!
In the building, I visited the Calgary zoo. There were all kinds of strange animals. After visiting the zoo, I wanted to go back to take some pictures but the zoo was now closed. I was only able to visit it that one time. I saw my father in the hall. He was wearing a long sleeve burgundy shirt with collar and buttons. I wonder if my father is still alive. Seeing my father in the dream felt comforting and sweet as if I was drinking sugar milk.
Another dream, super weird, I'm kind of scared to write about it, but I guess I will because I'm compulsive. I have OCD which Stanford University wrote instead to call it detail oriented.
I was in a luxurious living room lying down on a couch. A bunch of male homosexuals stood above me on the back side of the couch while I was lying down. One of them was a dark haired Hollywood celebrity, he playfully made a motion to reach for me but he was just joking. I knew this and I laughed.
Wednesday, January 11, 2023
I was walking up along the South side of Kingsway in Vancouver during the daytime. I had a black cable box with me and a pair of slippers. I passed a lot of people. Someone told me that the cable box was missing something. I walked on saying to myself angrily, "Ayear chiwit kong pom!" which is Thai and it means, "Damn this life of mine!" At some point I lost the base for my cable box I was holding and I lost my slippers too.
I discerned that the cable box I was holding onto was of a different company than the one I use so I threw it away into a dumpster. The cable box was of Telus and I use Shaw. And it was an older model cable box, a pre digital cable box.
At Kingsway and Victoria, I turned left. I said "Ayear chiwit kong pom." again. I was going to visit my cousin who lives near Kingsway and Victoria, cousins who's last name is Wong which means King in Chinese. I thought of my cousins and that maybe I didn't want to go. I thought about the two other cousins I have that are exactly my age. They got it good. They got married while I never got married. I didn't know if I wanted to go. I would see them and resent them and have thoughts through my mind all the rest of the next few days.
I went into a complex which was two adjoining mini malls. I went to the mall on my right first. I was in a line up. The place where the line up was had a ramp and green metal railings. I was going to go through the window on top of the ramp but decided I wanted to stay to order some food. I attempted to do some gymnastics at the railings. There were more people, mainly women getting into the line up. They told me to hurry up and to stop doing the gymnastics. I yelled, "Hey!" very loudly, so loud that I didn't know that my voice could be that loud. I was leaving. I turned back to look at the line up with mainly women but there was one man there. I held up my arms forming a diagonal cross and then I left. The mini mall I was in didn't have the Chinese restaurant that I was looking for. I left the mini mall and went outside.
It was night now. Outside, there was a group of young people across the street with pom poms. On the sidewalk I found some pom poms. I did some good moves similar to the move that Chris Farley made with the two swords in his Beverly Hills Ninja movie. There was a large white truck across the street which I thought was blocking the view of more people but when the truck moved, there was no one there. The people across the street just looked at me. I held up my arms making a diagonal cross again.
I went back into the mall. I looked into first mall that I went to and it was empty. The line up had gone.
Then I went into the mall to my left. There was a Chinese restaurant there but not the one I somehow remembered from before. This is a dream, how could I remember a restaurant of a mini mall in the dreamworld that I never went to before and of a mini mall that never existed? I went to that restaurant and ordered some barbeque pork with wonton. I got some pork on a plate which I didn't think was the full order. Before finishing the plate I was about to walk outside. A waitress stopped me and said that I shouldn't leave so soon as I didn't have the complete order then. I walked back to the Chinese restaurant kiosk. I heard the chef, a Chinese man yelling in Chinese, "Why doesn't he have the full order yet?!"
Then the dream was over.
Keeping up with the Joneses. In your teens, all your friends are comparing the cars they got. In your 20s all your friends are comparing the University they go to. In your 30s all your friends are comparing their wives and the houses they got. In the 40s, 50s, even 60s, all your friends are comparing their families and the nice houses they live in.
There comes a time when all of that is dropped and in the 70s all your friends are comparing the old age homes they go into and all the places in all the cemeteries that they will be buried in that they shopped for.
Thursday, January 12, 2023
I was walking with a Black lady who died in my hotel in late April of last year. Se sat down at a tree and as she lifted her shirt, I sat to the left of her and I kissed her belly.
Today her old room was open. The door was open. That room is dvood of furniture. Usually her room is never open. What a coincidence that her room was open on the morning after I had a dream about her.
Friday, January 13, 2023
In the dream my landlord told me that he wouldn't be inspecting my room for room inspection but that Kenny and Claude would be inspecting my room. I said, "Why?! Kenny likes to yell and flip out and Claude gets drunk and writes notes and tapes it at the door of people's rooms plus he yells when he gets drunk."
Then I was in a garage. My landlord's car was there. It was a silver old fashioned car and it had large blue flames painted on it. At first it drove, then it was in the garage blocked by another car and it was chained to a post and then it drove again.
Sunday, January 15, 2023
Part of a longer dream not remembered. I was at the Library. A dark haired librarian who had been unfriendly to me was friendly this time. She gave me a grey sweatshirt with dark blue lettering which had the word Mettam written on it. There was a single line connecting the two Ts, the line forming the horizontal line of the two Ts and this line formed a smile under the two Ts.
Monday, January 16, 2023
I went into a room and saw Mark Hamill, Luke Skywalker. I said to him, "All the actresses who acted with you died." Carrie Fisher died, and then I said that the two actresses on 3s Company also died, confusing him with John Ritter. I said that the actresses used liquid cocaine and I saw an image of a small baggie with dark brown liquid in it opening and spilling over an actress wearing denim coveralls. Weird dream.
You probably won't believe me when I write this, but I had a quick vision of Prince Philip. He was middle aged and was wearing a dark grey suit. He was standing.
Tuesday, January 17, 2023
I was at a high school in Vancouver. It was a nice high school. I had a Saturday Night Live in the 70s booklet with photographs that reminded me of the high school I was at. The booklet was heavenly. There was sunrise sunlight over a small town. I had to go to the high school every morning which I did for a few mornings. One morning I got lost and couldn't find the high school. I couldn't even remember what bus I was supposed to get on. I saw my neighbour Steffy who is fat. I told her I couldn't find the bus but at this point, I don't care, "I wanted to drop out anyways. I want to give up on life altogether."
I kept on trying to find the high school but couldn't.
I went into a restaurant full of people. The phone rang. A few moments later, a waitress told me that the phone call was for me. I got on the phone." "Who is this?" I asked. I got no answer. "Where were you?" the voice said.
I told the person that "I wanted to drop out anyways. I want to give up on life altogether."
He then asked, "Why did you send your sister to Riverview mental hospital this morning?" I said, "No I didn't!" "Yes you did!" This no I didn't yes you did repeated itself a few times, about 5 times. Then I said, "You could tell them any criminal thing about me. I don't care. Even any queer thing."
I said queer thing because I knew I wasn't queer and so I didn't care and I wanted him to know that. I also thought he might be saying that in an attempt to embarrass me. When I said you could tell them, them meant the people in the restaurant.
I went to sit at another room in the restaurant. I was full of people. The restaurant was a 70s style restaurant, the walls were unpainted wood.
I sat next to someone and then I told him the entire conversation over the phone, I said, ""Who is this?" I asked. I got no answer. "Where were you?" the voice said.
I told the person that "I wanted to drop out anyways. I want to give up on life altogether."
He then asked, "Why did you send your sister to Riverview mental hospital this morning?" I said, "No I didn't!" "Yes you did!" This no I didn't yes you did repeated itself a few times, about 5 times. Then I said, "You could tell them any criminal thing about me. I don't care. Even any queer thing.""
I looked around the restaurant. There was someone sitting behind me who was a tall guy. Maybe he was a Policeman who might have heard what I said and might help me.
Then I was in Dawson Creek and I was in a room in my friend Charles house. I was looking for the heavenly SNL booklet that I had earlier. I couldn't find it. I found a small light brown leather purse that was in a Native design with Native style leather tassels hanging from it.
Do I have to have weird dreams like this every night for life? Although, the dreams of the last three nights had a pleasant heavenly feel they were alarmingly weird as usual. And they seemed so real at the time. But they are weird. Yes, I will have to have weird dreams like this for life! Just like everybody else. I never heard of anyone ever having had a normal dream as dreams are saturated with the physics of the afterlife or the afterworld including teleportation, and telepathy, that is speaking entire sentences without moving the lips yet I could hear other people talking and they could hear me.
Wednesday, January 18, 2023
Afternoon nap. A heavenly dream. I was trading bags of pot with a couple of characters. At one point there was a sword fight with umbrellas.
Than I was in downtown Vancouver in the West End going East on Davie Street from Haro Street. I was flying.
I hesitated to write about this as Davie Street is known for being the main street in the gay district of Vancouver. Years ago I sometimes walked on Davie Street lots of times and even today lots of straight people walk on Davie Street and its a very quiet and calm street. I mean, gay people never hassle straight people on Davie Street. It's a place where anyone is welcome.
There is a Church near Davie Street which is a food bank. Years ago in 1985 I was riding on a bus on Davie Street and saw a line up at that Church. My friend who was with me said, "That's people on welfare." I said, "What's welfare?" I didn't know what welfare was. But it turned out that was an omen that one day I'd be on welfare.
I miss Vancouver. Victoria is nice but the yuppie heavenly vibes in Vancouver in the West End and also at Kitsilano, at Shaughnessy Heights and at UBC Point Grey are on another level. I really want to move back to Vancouver one day. It would be somewhat of a miracle if I ever do. I always have dreams of Vancouver. There's more beautiful women in Vancouver than in this town. The people of this town have a distinctly Vancouver island backwater look and vibe. Vancouver has a cosmopolitan big city sophisticated look and vibe. I'm from Vancouver. I should have moved back years ago. I'm surprised that I stayed here for as long as I did. I could move back at any time. I suppose that I don't want to leave Heather. Heather would be lost without me. I feel that I have to take care of her. Victoria is nice too. James Bay, Holland Point Park, Dallas Road Beach and Ogden Point are irreplaceable. Beacon Hill Park is nice too. I would miss Victoria if I were to leave. A day pass on the bus in Vancouver is $11 a day. A bus pass in Victoria is $5 a day and one could ride the bus to Sidney BC which is 1 hour away and back all for $5. Heck, one could ride to Sidney and back 3 times in one day if they were so inclined all for $5. That's a great deal. However the $11 in Vancouver includes the Skytrain, the seabus and also riding from Tsawwassen to North Vancouver. That's a great deal too. How much would that cost in a car paying for gasoline? That would be about $150 in gasoline.
Thursday, January 19, 2023
Another dream with heavenly feelings. I was working at a job. It was a trades factory job and I was working with some ladies. Soon the day of work was nearly over. It was 5 pm. I talked about ordering food from a restaurant for lunch the next day. I worried it would be slow and the food wouldn't arrive in time. The ladies said to not worry, that the food would be prepared quickly.
I was then vacationing in Vancouver.
I was spending my vacation money but I would get more money from that trades factory job.
Soon I went to a museum exhibit. I saw some junks or boats from Hong Kong. I was flapping my arms and was flying suspended in the air during this event. Some other Chinese people showed up, two ladies and a young boy. I was leaving the event. I grabbed a rope hanging from the ceiling and did a double back flip and landed. I then climbed up a ladder. The voice of the exhibit said that the Chinese had been bringing poor slave workers since 1671. I saw a few cans of salmon.
Then nearing the exit of the exhibit, I gave the boy a Christmas card with winning ticket numbers. Then Tom Hanks was there and wanted to look in the Christmas card and wondering what I was giving the boy as a gift. It was winning ticket numbers written in gold.
Then I was in Dawson Creek at night. Tom Hanks was there too. There was a view of the highway and fields. I told Tom Hanks that, "It was like the Polar Express. We could be young and we could fly." Tom Hanks was weeping tears of happiness when he heard this. In the fields we saw hay bales wrapped with Christmas lights. End of dream.
Being in Vancouver and the Christmas lights had a good heavenly feeling. I've been having some slightly yet distinctly heavenly dreams in the last few days. Sweet dreams are made of this. I must be doing something right.
Friday, January 20, 2023
I was working at a restaurant. The dream seemed so real that I was thinking, "Here I am working at a restaurant. This is for real this time."
Then as I was cleaning some dishes since I was a dishwasher, I ate some food from the small metallic bins they brought in. A lady who was with me left as soon as she saw me eating.
Sunday, January 22, 2023
I visited a Buddhist Priest.
Monday, January 23, 2023
I went to a building. Inside the building was a Japanese restaurant. I wanted to go back and take a picture of that restaurant. On two occasions I split my leg. I was making nicks at my left knee. The second time, my thigh split open vertically. I saw a lot of white fat within. I was sitting at the forward hall of the building that led to the restaurant and a couple of EMT workers were there.
Then I was at an elementary school. There were lots of children there. I was in a line up. I tried to make myself inconspicuous.
Tuesday, January 24, 2023
Part of a longer dream now forgotten.
I was at some theatre event. Then I saw Suzie. I told her that I was upset with her and didn't want to se her again. She asked why. I said that it would be better if she said outright that she didn't want to give me a ride in her BMW M series, saying, "I don't really feel like doing it. It's a nice model car." instead of making me wait two years and more and still not giving me a ride.
"Better a clear rejection than a fake promise." Buddha
That whole scenario was one of the worst things I ever got involved in in my entire life. To be enmeshed in what is a bad energy jangle was really one of the worst things that ever happened to me. I really wish I never met her. That's the forces of life. Sometimes it gives you good things and sometimes it gives you really bad things. Life is never absolutely bad nor absolutely good either. It's a tawdry mess and I am glad I never became a father to any children. To any spirits in the afterlife thinking of reincarnation, life is just as well avoided. You would be better off not incarnating at all. I wish I was never born but to wish the impossible is a waste of time. I just have to endure whatever life has in store for me.
I have one neighbour who lives next to me who is a hamster man. He stays up at night and often moves furniture. He bangs things and this is just him dropping things. He's a lot better than he used to be when for years he used to throw things around his his room and yell profanities. He used to make me jump and be startled and this has given me an anxiety disorder. That's the forces of life. Give out a certain kind of energy and get another and worse energy in return. I used to animate cartoons until anxiety took over. I was doing Zen meditation. So naturally in return for that life has a heavy metal hamster move in next to me. That guy is into heavy metal music.
That's why in some ways it's good that housing is so expensive. When housing prices were cheaper and a lot more accessible, when living in a detached home was the norm and living in an apartment was an anomaly rather than the other way around like it is these days, more often than not, a well heeled, genteel, well disciplined and educated household would have as neighbours who are into heavy metal. Insufferable. These heavy metal neighbours often wouldn't mow their lawn and were into drugs etc. And they would play their heavy metal music loud. Heavy metal music is music from a low vibration and is the music of the hell bound. Jazz and classical music are of a higher vibration and is the music of the heaven bound. I don't know if there is a heaven. Heaven is a fable people tell themselves to deal with the Universal fear of death. There are no absolutes. The afterlife is probably also a realm of not pure badness but not pure goodness either. A priest I talked with recently himself said that he doesn't know what happens after death and he didn't know if there is a heaven either.
I don't ever want to see Suzie ever again. It's OK to chase a dream as long as it doesn't cost any money and its OK to chase a dream as long as it doesn't cause you intellectual or emotional turmoil or if you decided in advance that seeing someone is a bad energy jangle and a waste of time. Don't compel yourself to face such situations. There are no redeemable qualities in doing this. It's not like I'm legally nor morally required nor socially required to see Suzie ever again. I hope I don't ever see her on the streets either. If I see her on the streets I will quietly avoid her even taking a detour to do so. I don't miss her!
If I decide to do so, it may be to demonstrate compassion for her but if I don't see her it's definitely to demonstrate compassion for myself. Yet I still can't stop smoking that damned tobacco. Is that also demonstrating compassion for myself? I wonder about myself. Smoking tobacco makes me a wretched individual.
Morning nap.
I went to an alley in the downtown eastside of Vancouver. I saw some buildings, the Balmoral Hotel. It was wrecked.
I walked to the streets. There were other buildings that were not quite with it. I was standing on the Southwest corner of Hastings and Columbia on Columbia Street looking North. It was night time. Some buildings had windows with no glass and I could see lights on within. I looked to my right and saw the Balmoral Hotel. It was leaning forward and looking wrecked. The windows were all boarded up.
Then I met a lady. We hugged for a long time. She was a hooker with blonde curly hair. She was wearing white coveralls. When we hugged I reached into her hip area and touched her bottom with my hands.
There was a guy who I fought with. I fought him on the sidewalk. He had a dark green metallic hook that he wanted to hook into me. I successfully avoided it and threw him into a trench behind me. He had a BMX bike that I threw into the trench first then I threw him into the trench. It was a deep trench.
The lady was still with me the whole time. I walked with her. She found a vial of drug liquid. There was small flecks of white powder from that vial which got on my fingers. For some reason I locked this white powder off my fingers. Then I found a large glass jar. It was opened with no lid and was full of honey which I drank some and then passed to the lady.
Then another dream. I was in a thrift store. There were racks full of clothes to the left of me. The racks turned right where I found a green vest jacket with grey sleeves. On the green vest part of the jacket were diamond shapes woven on it. On the inside of the jacket it was brown fake fur. It was a Polo Ralph Lauren jacket because I looked on the label. I wore that jacket, taking it with me.
I turned back the way I came and found two other similar jackets but they were way too small because they were children sized jackets. I kept walking. I looked behind me and the once full rscks were nearly empty as employees were clearing the racks. The store was closing down for good and it was a closing out sale.
Then near the windows was a stack of dress shirts on the floor. Some of them were Polo but these shirts were gaudy looking with broad vertical purple and grey stripes. I debated in my mind whether to get them. They were Polo Ralph Lauren shirts as indicated on the label but I was on a budget. A salesman employee of the thrift store was squatting in front of me. He said, "Don't tell the cashier but the labels are bleached." I didn't know what that meant. He then said, "If you don't tell, I'll give you a big hug." I sensed that there was something off in that energy.
I walked over to my right. There was a mother and young daughter looking at a stack of cassette tapes on the floor. For some reason I said a poem, "There was a lady named Connie and she was my friend. I told her that I'd be with her until the very end." There was a bookshelf against the wall. There was a bunch of books including Archie Digest comics presumably on sale. I picked one up. The dream seemed so real. Then the dream was over. I never got that Polo jacket nor the Archie comic.
Woke up feeling overwhelmed. My crazy brain has cranked out yet another crazy dream. I must be losing my mind. I then thought of a couple of people whom I was slightly angry at. Months ago, I was too scared to get angry. Now my anger is coming back. That's not good. Anger is never a good thing. But then one shouldn't be happy about everything. Being happy and not angry about being exploited or made to lose face isn't right either. I don't know what to do. Life is too overwhelming.
Just offhand, Lauren is an anagram of unreal.
Thursday, January 26, 2023
I was at an airport at night. I saw my friends Songkran and then Jaroon from Thailand. The dream was so real. I thought I was actually seeing them again. It seemed so real that I nudged Sonkran's left arm with my right arm as he was sitting in a chair in the waiting area of an airport.
The rest of the dream now hazy and unremembered although at the time it was vivid. The veil falls hard and fast when one wakes up in the morning.
There is controversy whether dreams are just emissions from the subconscious mind or whether during dreams, one's spirit travels to a plane on the astral realm, not heaven but with similar physics of spirits that would be in heaven. As long as one is tethered to the physical body one travels to a spirit plane between earth life and heaven or else hell as bad people will go to hell.
The part that is the subconscious emissions is just as one is going to sleep, they will see an image or hear some words in the hypnagogic or twilight state.
But in a dream, it registers as a POV video game as one is traveling from point A to point B and the landscapes, architecture, furniture placement in rooms and also clothes that people are seen wearing is very highly and involuntarily specific. That's the part when one travels to some astral realm.
Religions are suspect. I only trust them so much. Christianity says someone was born of a virgin birth then came to life again after he died. Believe it or not, I guess.
However, Christianity says that people don't reincarnate while Hinduism and Buddhism says that people do. Either is correct. People's spirit energy or spirit consciousness reincarnates but the specific person born in a specific year, let's say 1969, that exact specific person per se won't reincarnate again just as the specific year they were born won't happen again just as 1969 won't happen again.
Sikhs believe that no religion has the monopoly on truth. In the case of reincarnation, that is correct.
Reincarnation where? One day the Earth itself will be dead as our sun turns into a red giant star and then goes supernova, but long before that, the holocene era or human era will be over and gone. Then it's reincarnate to another planet in the Universe that has life, that's if you believe there's any other planets besides Earth which has intelligent sentient and even technologically capable life. But one day the Universe will die and the time between the death of a Universe and rebirth of the next one is billions of years. Then they will reincarnate into another Universe if you believe in mulitverses. I don't know what to believe. All this is conjecture.
Buddhism says that some people reach such a state of enlightenment and purity that they don't have to reincarnate either to this Earth or else ever. So life is a punishment and you have to keep on coming back until you get it right. We are celestial spirits from heaven but we have to come to Earth only to go to heaven again, which is redundant if we were already there to begin with. But if we screw up, then we go to hell which would be counterefficient and counterproductive since we were already in heaven to begin with. These theories and religions all have their loopholes like a poorly written movie. Existence is a poorly written movie. It's a bad and defective algorithm and we all just have to honor life and to go on living and to just accept these inevitable coefficients of life and existence.
Afternoon nap.
I was in a white car at night with my old friend John. This is the John of who I had a dream where his dead father visited me.
I was in the driver's seat. My feet couldn't reach the brakes. It looked like I was going to crash into another car and also bus in front of me but I didn't. That's all I can remember.
Friday, January 27, 2023
I was talking to someone at a table about prices of something. Then I was next to an apartment building outside. It was a cloudy day. There was a table with merchandise on it. The man at that table brought out a very small miniature silver model of a lamborghini. Then he brought out a miniature model of a DeLorean. I said, "That's Back To The Future! That reminds me of something royal!"
Wake up for a few minutes. Then sleep again.
I was going to a Chinese restaurant that seemed familiar. I walk up some stairs. Then there were tables full of good.Chinese food. Fish with silver scales, each scale had a black outline. There were Chinese chefs wearing white there sitting down to eat. Then I went into another room with more food. I scooped some on to my plate. Then I went into another back room that seemed like a cloakroom at school. More food and I scoop some into my plate. I wanted some food from the first room of food with the chefs. When I went back to that room, all the food was cleared from the table. Gone. End of dream.
I wonder if I'm crazy for having a crazy dream every night.
The YouTube video, Amazing Angel Experiences - Guest Benny Landrum from Ivory LaNoue. In that video, Ivory said she worked at a mental hospital. The director of that hospital once said to her, "If someone tells you that they think they're crazy, they're not. Crazy people don't know or care if they're crazy."
Saturday, January 28, 2023
I was in Dawson Creek again. Night time. But I was at a house that seemed like a house in the tropics. There was a set of stairs going to the second floor.
Soon there were a lot of Philippinos in that house. Then there was someone playing on a drum set. The drummer was a Philippino guy. Then I got a chance to play the drums for a couple of minutes but since I haven't been behind an actual drum set for years, decades, my drumming was rusty. Then someone else came in to play the drums. He looked a lot like Bruce Lee but he also didn't look like Bruce Lee as well. Then I said that this house was like a house in the tropics. "See the stair well didn't even have a support pillar underneath it." I said. The stair well led up one storey. At the middle, the stairwell turned right. It was made of railings painted an off red colour like light red purple.
Then teleport outdoors. We are all outdoors. The day was sunny. The drum set was there but disattached. The bass drum kept creeping away and the hi hat cymbals had disappeared. I saw some Police Officers coming up the street but they seemed unconcerned about something as trivial as a little drum set even when I tried to tell them about it.
I thought of Dawson Creek and about how each place I go to is wonderful. Dawson Creek led me to go to Thailand.
I thought of a movie about Thailand. In this movie someone says a French phrase, I don't remember it exactly but at the time I did.
I went into a house where there was a guy sitting in the corner unconcerned. But there was an older lady who I talked to. She was plump and had grey and blonde hair. She was wearing a grey shirt with collar and buttons, a grey blouse. I was doing a passport application and on the application I wrote the French phrase that I learned. She said, "You are going to write this phrase knowing that this passport application is going to London?"
Then she went behind an opening and reemerged as a much younger lady. She was still a bit plump but she was lighter in weight. She had red hair instead of grey blonde hair. She was still wearing the same shirt. She was talking to me about the phrase saying that I didn't know what it meant. She pressed her rear end against me playfully. She was quite playful and nudging.
She then went behind and opening and reappeared as the middle aged older lady I first met. She hugged me and we kissed on the mouth. I asked her why I wasn't able to kiss her when she appeared as young. She said, "Because that young person is no longer here." The experience of seeing her young was so beautiful and heavenly that I wept tears of joy and love right then and there.
I walked outdoors. There were some guys walking around. One of them was an older thin man. I asked them what that French phrase was and meant. French is an idiomatic language. Anyways, that phrase meant, "Go back to your bed, you whore." Meaning that men often didn't sleep with prostitutes. It was an honour thing. I learned that I shouldn't write down phrases that I didn't know the meaning of on important documents.
Seeing that older lady as young was quite a heavenly experience, visually as well as emotionally. Now I believe that there is a heaven but those who are living aren't quite ready to go there yet. It is a surprise that must not be spoiled. When a person is alive, they go to a certain astral plane when they are sleeping and dreaming. Heaven is yet another and more intense astral plane.
Sunday, January 29, 2023
Afternoon nap.
I was in a large laundry room in my hotel that doesn't exist in real life. There were no lights on and it was at night. There were rows of dirty laundry machines. At one point I saw a man in a wheelchair and his attendant in the hall of this laundry room. They were facing left and I saw the left side profile of them.
Monday, January 30, 2023
I was in Cambodia. I was in a hall of a museum, the walls were painted green. I saw a few exhibits. Then I was going to get a book at a souvenir shop. Jaroon my friend from Thailand was there too. I wanted to change my Canadian money with some of his local coins so I could get the souvenir book.
I gave him $15 Canadian, a $10 bill and a $5 bill. It was too much but I thought that Jaroon could use the money. I was being generous. I put that souvenir book into a ziploc baggie. But as I was leaving, I left that souvenir book there.
Then teleport. I was in Hong Kong. I was riding in a car the shape of a silver box. I was in an intersection in Hong Kong. The dream seemed so real and I was glad to be there. Then teleport to Vancouver. I was going up an escalator to the Sea Bus. I then carried that silver box of a car under my right arm. I felt good to be in Vancouver too. I thought, "I'm finally really in Vancouver."
Then I went to a strange hallway in Vancouver. It was a darkened hallway. There was a set of escalators to the left. and a large metallic conveyor belt to the right. Someone pushed me into the conveyor belt. It would have meant death if I got onto that conveyor belt but I dodged him and went to the elevators.
Then I was briefly back in Cambodia to that hallway in the museum. I picked up my souvenir book that I left behind previously.
Here is where it really gets strange. I was in Cambodia sitting next to a King who was seated to my right. It was a house with a large opening to the outdoors. It was daytime. I had a coloring book. But when I moved, a shadow on the coloring book moved. On the page of the coloring book was a picture of a King. When I moved the certain way, the shadow merged into a shape of a shark with teeth about to bite the King. The King didn't see the page of the coloring book. I didn't want to tell him about the shark. End of the dream, or else the part that I could remember.
Sam and Colby talked to Joe Rogan about being on the ship The Queen Mary. At one point, Sam and Colby asked the spirit in a haunted room on board the ship if there is a heaven. The spirit gave 3 knocks on the table meaning No. The two religious guys Sam and Colby were with said to leave immediately. The spirit that answered was a demon. Demons want people to not believe in heaven thus moving farther away from God.* There is a heaven. Believe it.
*source: Sam & Colby's First Paranormal Incident On The Queen Mary. Powerful JRE. YouTube
Monday, January 31, 2023
I was at a large pawn store. The pawn store resembled a library. There in that store were two white plastic boxes with a bunch of DVDs. I was interested in a DVD at each box. They were James Bond comedy parody movies. I went to one box, saw a James Bond movie, didn't get it. Went to another box, got that movie. I decided I wanted the movie from the first box but when I went there, it was gone.
I met two librarians with blonde hair at this pawn store. A younger one with dark blonde hair and a slightly older one who was taller and had light blonde hair. I was waking around, talking with them. Then I was talking to the older blonde lady. We were leaning against a bookshelf, the bookshelf to my left. I was standing behind her my head nestled on her right shoulder.
Then Princess Margaret appeared. She was wearing a fuschia red dress and had black woolen gloves on. I had my hand on the shoulder of each of the two librarians. Princess Margaret held and lifted each of my hands off the shoulders of the librarians with her two hands, one for each of my hands.
She was saying something but I don't remember what.
Then I was with the younger librarian in a bathtub that was sliding down a hill. I was fully clothed but the librarian was naked, her back towards me. At one point I covered her breasts with my right hand and arm.
After awhile we were at the bottom of the hill. As we got out of the tub, I wrapped a dark purple trenchcoat I was wearing around her to cover her nakedness as another lady I didn't know was walking around at the bottom of that hill. She was telling jokes which I didn't think were that funny, but I pretended to laugh. I found a red pair of tweezers I was looking for at the bottom of that hill.
Then I was riding in a car with the librarian. At one point I saw another car. It was like a miniature open streetcar and that Police Officer from the James Bond movies Live and Let Die and the Man with the Golden Gun was on that streetcar.
Then I was on a hill. James Bond was on that hill. He was throwing a large parcel up the hill. People caught it and threw it further up the hill like a relay. They threw the parcel very quickly. It was very fast. When I got to the top of the hill there was a one story building with glass doors with a wood frame. The area inside this building was dark so I couldn't see what was inside. When the door opened, there were some older ladies, thin, tanned, slightly muscular or sinewy and their genitalia was shaved. I went into the building!
Yet another crazy dream. I'm used to them now. A lot of people would be afraid to admit their dreams for fear of being thought of as crazy. Crazy dreams don't mean that you're crazy. Dreams operate along different parameters with a different set of physics. I believe that my spirit is visiting another dimension in dreams as dreams present themselves as a POV video game and I am walking or else traveling in vehicles from point A to point B with teleportational jumps here and there. Natives totally believe dreams are visits to another dimension and they have believed that for centuries if not for thousands off years.
I see Royalty in my dreams often. That means that Royalty is there to assure me that I am being watched over, am protected, everything will be all right and that I am more important than I realize and that the actions in my life however I live it is a mission I am supposed to be on for a higher purpose I don't yet realize.
